When you’re over 40 you should have enough relationship experience to know what you need in a partner and how to be part of a happy, loving couple. It can be hard to let go of bad behaviors though, especially if you’re not aware of them or don’t deal with them, and this can cause you to make mistakes that you shouldn’t be making at your age. You’ve become wiser with age and you need to know which relationship mistakes you have to avoid so that you can have a healthy relationship.
1) Not dealing with the past
By the time you’re over 40 you’ve had bad experiences and heartbreak which can affect your present and future if you ignore it and don’t deal with it. Instead of rushing into a new relationship you need to take some time being single so that you can deal with the past and be mentally and emotionally ready to commit yourself to someone. If you don’t do this then your past is going to slowly come back until it starts affecting you and that’s going to drive a wedge between you and your partner.
2) Being stuck in your ways
As you get older you tend to get stuck in your ways and not have the patience to deal with things or learn something new. This can cause you to miss out on experiencing things or getting to know new people. By keeping an open-mind you may date someone who’s a great match but that you would have overlooked in the past and if you’re in a relationship it can help you be supportive of a partner’s hobbies or interests. This makes your life more interesting and you won’t feel like life is boring or that you wish you could go back to being younger.
3) Thinking you’re too old for passionate sex
When you’re over 40 you’re going to be aware of the changes in your body and your libido may slow down which can lead to you thinking you’re too old now for passionate sex. This isn’t true at all and people can enjoy sex at all ages so you’re denying yourself and your partner of pleasure by believing this. Your body and desires change over time but you need to work with your partner to find the right sexual balance for your relationship so that both of you feel fulfilled.
4) Letting jealousy take over
Jealousy can quickly ruin a relationship and by the time you’re over 40 you should know when it’s the right time and the wrong time to feel jealousy. When you’re young it’s normal to feel jealousy when your partner checks out someone else but you should learn over time that checking someone out doesn’t mean they don’t love you or that they’re going to cheat. Even though you feel jealousy over it you should let it go and only get upset when it’s something serious.
5) Falling in love at first sight
Falling in love at first sight rarely happens and you should know that once you’ve had some dating experiences. When you’re over 40 and starting a new relationship you need to accept that falling in love can take time and it happens as you get to know each other. the sooner you accept this the sooner you can be content in your relationship and be willing to work on it so that you can have a happy life with your partner.
6) Expecting your partner to be perfect
It’s a childish fantasy to think that the person you’re in a long term relationship with is going to be perfect and expecting this is going to put a strain between you and your partner. Everyone has flaws and when you’re over 40 you should know which ones are a relationship deal breaker and which ones are small enough to overlook. Your partner isn’t going to be perfect and you need to accept them for who they are because that’s what they’re doing for you.
7) Wanting to know too much
It’s okay to keep some things private and not share them with your partner because it’s nice to keep a secret part of yourself and sometimes it’s too difficult to share. When you don’t respect your partner’s boundaries and demand to know everything about them or go snooping behind their back by checking their emails or texts then you might find out something you don’t want to know. You have to trust your partner to let you know these things when the time is right for them instead of only thinking about what you want.
8) Ignoring emotional and mental needs
When you’re over 40 you don’t want to grow old alone and want a partner you can spend your life with. To get this kind of relationship you need to be thoughtful and be supportive of your partner’s emotional and mental needs because you need to love and care for each other.
9) Dating the wrong kind of person
Relationship experience comes with age and you learn what kind of person you should be with and what doesn’t work for you. If you keep dating people with the same qualities then you’re going to keep getting your heartbroken. You need to stop this cycle and only start a relationship if you truly feel like the other person is a good match for you. This is how you have a healthy relationship and be with someone you deserve.
10) Giving up your independence
Giving up your independence by making your life revolve around your partner and sharing all of your assets is something that you do when you’re young, foolish and in love. This never works out well and when you’re over 40 you should know how to balance your independence with your relationship. You should have friends, a social life and your personal bank account but you should also be serious about building a life with your partner. Keeping your independence means you’re going to be in a better place if you break up and this is important because it’s harder to get back on your feet when you’re older.
Currently She works as dating writer for different adult blogs, and She coaches men and women on sex and relationship.
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