Confidence is a personality trait that doesn’t come naturally for some and this makes it difficult for them to be in social situations, especially intense ones where flirting is involved. It is possible to build up your confidence so that you no longer struggle when you’re around women, it just takes some time to improve various areas of your life, such as your mental health and appearance. When you can look in the mirror and like who you are, others will notice and be drawn to you. This will help in social situations because they’ll be making an effort to have things go smoothly so all of the pressure isn’t on you.
1) Use appropriate body language
You’re going to be rejected by women if you don’t make eye contact, fidget, bite your lip or stand away from them. When you’re around women you need to use appropriate body language that shows them you have high self-esteem. Ignore your natural reactions and act like you have confidence by walking up to them, smiling, making eye contact and being close enough to touch. This makes you seem strong and reliable and if you do it often enough it will eventually become natural for you to be this way. It’s a change that’s easy to implement and positive body language is something that will benefit you in all situations.
2) Don’t psych yourself out
When you’re around women and trying to pick them up your mind is going to be full of all sorts of different scenarios of how things can go wrong because that’s your biggest fear. Psyching yourself out like this isn’t going to help your confidence and will lead to you either not talking to women or making a fool of yourself as your nervousness takes over. You need to stop doing this by taking things step by step and being in the moment so you can stay focused. Taking a moment to take a deep breath and clear your mind will also help steady your nerves. You also need to stop putting so much importance on what is happening because there are lots of other women out there so it’s okay if this one doesn’t go well.
3) Work on your mental health
Your mental health plays a big role in how much confidence you have so this is an area you need to work on. The way you talk to yourself can affect your self-esteem if you’re constantly telling yourself that you’re not good as other guys, you’re ugly or that you’re boring. You’re going to believe these things and they’ll be a part of your identity until you change your internal monologue. You have to tell yourself that you’re just as good as anybody else, that you have attractive qualities and that you are a worthy human being. This is going to increase your confidence and it’ll be easier for you to interact with people because you see yourself as an equal.
4) Look after your appearance
If you don’t like what you see in the mirror then you’re not going to have confidence in yourself because your outward appearance matches how you feel inside. You need to be able to look in the mirror and be happy about what you see so that you don’t find anything negative to dwell on. You can look after your appearance by exercising regularly, buying new clothes when your other ones get worn out, go for regular haircuts, shaving and improving your posture by standing up straight instead of slouching. You’re going to feel better about yourself and know that women aren’t going to see a loser when they look at you.
5) Have conversation ideas
Being able to start a conversation and keep up your end of it can affect your confidence because it makes you feel more prepared. Make a list of topics to talk about and make sure none of them are controversial, like politics or religion. Choose a handful of safe subjects like movies, TV shows, weekend plans, pets or what’s going on because these are topics that most people can have a fun conversation about. You need to make sure you choose topics you’re familiar with so you can keep up your end of the conversation. To practice your conversation skills you can talk to your friends, neighbors or co-workers about them so you have a better idea of what to say when you’re talking to a woman you’re attracted to.
6) Pay attention to her reaction
Your confidence will be rattled if you don’t know whether or not you’re saying or doing the right thing and your stress levels are going to go up. When you’re around women it’s important to pay attention to how they’re reacting so you can make any necessary changes to keep things going well. She’s not going to tell you that you’re boring her but her body language will so look at how she’s acting. If she’s looking away then you can try talking about something else and if she seems uncomfortable you may be coming on too strong so you can take a step back and slow down. Paying attention to the small details makes it easier to understand social situations and you’ll be able to deal with them more effectively which is going to help your confidence.
7) Spend more time with women
A good way of dealing with something that scares you is by dealing with it head on so if your confidence is low around women then you need to spend more time with them. You don’t want to stress yourself out by starting with a romantic situation because there’s more pressure when you’re asking a woman out so ease your way into that. Start out by spending time with women in neutral situations, like talking to female co-workers or neighbors, talk to women online since it’s easier than face to face then hang out at a bar making small talk with women that are there. When you feel ready for something more serious you can start talking to women you’re interested in dating and experiment with being flirtatious. You’re going to see that it’s not a big deal being around women and your confidence levels won’t change when you’re with them.
Currently She works as dating writer for different adult blogs, and She coaches men and women on sex and relationship.
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