Hooking up with someone for the first time will always be an awkward experience because you’re with someone you don’t know very well and you’re being vulnerable with them. You’re going to make some mistakes but knowing what the most common ones are can help you make better decisions next time you’re hooking up.
1) Lying to impress them
When you meet someone you like and are attracted to you want to impress them so they’ll be interested in hooking up with you but this can lead to you lying to them. You may be embarrassed about your job or how much money you make or you could exaggerate things you’re good at or what you’ve achieved. You want to come across as an amazing person but once they spend time with you they’ll see through your lies and that will diminish the trust between the two of you. You have to be yourself when you’re hooking up so the other person can get to know the real you. There are lots of people out there to meet so you need to be patient until you find someone who truly likes you.
2) Not telling them what you want
Sometimes when you’re trying to take things further with someone you’ve just met you’ll go with the flow and do what they want so they think you’re a good match. You can’t do this when you’re hooking up if they want a different type of relationship than you do. You have to be honest and tell them that you only want a one night stand or regular casual encounters so they know what to expect. If you don’t then both of you could get your feelings hurt when you realize you’re not compatible or there can be an awkward moment when you try to move on and they want to see you again.
3) Not having safe sex
Hooking up is fun and exciting which makes it easy to lose your inhibitions and take risks you normally wouldn’t, like not having safe sex. If you don’t use protection then you’re putting yourself at risk for all kinds of diseases because you don’t know if the other person is being honest about not having any. All they’re interested in is hooking up and they will lie to get what they want. You need to pay attention to your healthy and be responsible by having safe sex when hooking up until both of you get tested and you know for sure that you can do without protection.
4) Giving them all of your information
You need to keep a lot of your personal information private when you’re hooking up with someone for the first time because you don’t know if you can trust them. Certain information, like your last name, address and where you work should be kept to yourself until the relationship has progressed into a serious one and you start sharing more about your personal lives. On the first date they’re going to pay attention to everything you say and you don’t want to tell them something they can use against you later on because you don’t know how things are going to go or how they’re going to react if you decide not to to see them again.
5) Keeping your thoughts to yourself
When you’re hooking up with someone for the first time you want it to go well so you’ll avoid saying or doing anything that could ruin things. This leads to you keeping your thoughts to yourself and it can make the night less pleasurable for you because you feel like you’re not fully taking part in it. You need to pay attention to how you’re feeling and if the other person does something you’re not comfortable with, like sexual activities or not having safe sex, you need to tell them about it. They have to know what your boundaries are and they won’t know they’re upsetting you unless you’re open and honest about what’s bothering you.
6) Hiding what you’re doing from a friend
Meeting strangers for hooking up can be dangerous because you don’t know them and you could put yourself in a dangerous position by not telling a friend what you’re doing. You’re probably embarrassed about hooking up so you keep it to yourself but it is a good idea to let a friend know that you’re going on a date with someone new. You don’t have to give them a lot of details but having someone be aware of what’s going on could help you in an emergency if something goes wrong. You can also casually mention to your friend about going on the date then telling them the next day how it went. This way you don’t have to let them know you’re worried about your safety but you’re also protecting yourself.
7) Spoiling them
One of the worst things you can do when meeting someone for the first time is trying to buy their love by spoiling them. It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of what’s going on and start the night by going to a nice restaurant or giving your date an over the top gift because you want them to like you. If you start the relationship like this and it becomes more than a casual thing then they’re going to expect you to keep spoiling them. This isn’t a healthy relationship because it’s turning into a gold digging one.
8) Ignoring them after hooking up
Ignoring your date once you’re done hooking up with them is something you should never do, even if you don’t plan on seeing them again or if the night didn’t go well. If you don’t send a quick text saying you had a good time or that it was nice meeting them then it doesn’t make a good impression and they won’t be interested in seeing you again if you change your mind and decide to give them another chance. This can also lead to you taking a laidback attitude to hooking up and this will bleed into other areas of dating, like being abrupt with messages when you’re meeting someone new or acting uninterested so you don’t become too emotionally involved with anyone.
Currently She works as dating writer for different adult blogs, and She coaches men and women on sex and relationship.
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