Hookups can be a fun way to indulge in your sexual desires without making a commitment but over time you’re going to get sick of them. They won’t excite you anymore and you’ll start to crave a connection that’s stronger than what you get from hooking up. When you start to feel this way it’s a good idea to take a break from casual relationships and focus on what will make you happy again.
1) Hookups make you feel empty
Hookups should be a fun and satisfying way to fulfill your sexual desires as a short term solution. Over time it’ll lose it’s excitement and you’re going to feel empty after them because it’s the same thing over and over again. You’re going to start craving intimacy which you can only get from a long term partner because they know you and love you so hookups will no longer be a solution that works for you. When you feel this way after hooking up it’s time to take a break so you can build up anticipation again.
2) You’re hooking up to avoid a problem
A lot of people use hooking up as a way to avoid a problem because it’s a good distraction. This is only good as a temporary fix because while you’re ignoring your problem it’s getting worse and deep down you know it. You’re going to risk getting addicted to hooking up because the problem seems so big that you no longer know how to fix it. This sends you into an unhealthy habit and it’s one you need to stop so you can get your life back on track. You need to embrace the single life and spend time working on what’s wrong so that you’re mentally and emotionally prepared when you start dating again.
3) You’re jealous of your friends
Having hookups might no longer be right for you if you’re getting jealous of your friends who are in stable, long term relationships. you see them being happy with their wives and children and you realize that that’s the kind of life you want. You won’t find that life by having a casual relationship so you need to stop hooking up and focus on finding someone you can settle down with. Rushing into a new relationship lessens your chance of being ready for it so take a dating break then start looking for the one.
4) You’re starting to dread hooking up
You should never feel dread when you’re getting ready for hookups because they’re supposed to be something you enjoy. When you feel dread it means you’re not looking forward to it and you’re only doing it out of boredom or routine. This feeling will keep getting worse until you’re tired of the dating scene and want to give up on it which will end with you being alone. By taking a break you’ll have time to focus on things you do enjoy spending time on like hobbies or hanging out with the friends.
5) You regret it the next day
If you regret hooking up the day after it happens then it means you didn’t enjoy it and you know it was a mistake. You either didn’t feel attraction to the person so sex felt meaningless or you weren’t really in the mood and did it out of boredom which isn’t the way sex should be. You should wake up the next morning feeling good about yourself so take a break and think about what’s lacking in your hookups. When you know why you regret it you can start looking for hookups that are a better match for you. This will make you feel good about the encounters and your self-esteem won’t suffer.
6) You don’t know what you want
You need to know what you want if you want to be successful at having a casual relationship or something more serious. If you don’t know what you’re want you’re going to have bad relationships because you’re with people who aren’t right for you. When you get frustrated with most of your hookups it may be because you don’t know what you want and are meeting people that you shouldn’t be with. You should take some time to think about what you want from a hookup so you can better choose the ones you pick to go out with.
7) You don’t want a casual relationship
Having a casual relationship is good when you’re not ready for commitment but when you’re priorities change they won’t be good enough anymore. When you’re ready for a serious relationship it’s a good idea to take a break from hooking up so you can take some time for yourself and not rush into something serious with someone you’re not sure about. Being in a committed relationship requires the right attitude and since you’re used to hooking up you might bring that behaviour into your new relationship. You don’t want to do this so you need to take a break to get rid of that attitude.
8) They’re affecting your self-esteem
Hookups don’t have meaning because you don’t know the other person very well and there’s a lack of intimacy. A quick sexual encounter with a stranger can affect your self-esteem because the part of you that needs an emotional connection with someone is being ignored. Over time you’re going to wonder why you no longer enjoy hookups and think it might be because of you, you’re either not good enough in bed or you’re not attractive enough to find someone who’s better for you. You’re going to feel bad about yourself and that won’t stop until you take a break and work on yourself.
9) You no longer make an effort
When you’re excited about a hookup you’re going to make an effort at looking nice and making sure the date goes well because you want to have a good time. When you’re at the point where you no longer make an effort and don’t care how the date goes as long as you get to have sex then it’s time to take a break. You’re lack of care is because it’s not important to you anymore and the other person will notice which means they’re going to lose interest in you and the date will be a disaster. You don’t want to go through that so leave the dating scene for awhile and don’t try again until you feel like you’re ready to make an effort.
Currently She works as dating writer for different adult blogs, and She coaches men and women on sex and relationship.
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