You probably have some common bedtime habits that are ruining your sex life and not even know it. Instead of doing freaky things in bed you’ll be doing boring things like checking your texts or complaining about having a bad day at work. If you want your sex life to heat up then you need to ditch the bad bedtime habits.
1) Talking about your plans for tomorrow
Talking about your plans for tomorrow is something that nearly everyone does because they’re thinking about what’s coming up and trying to remember if they’ve forgotten anything important. You’re bouncing ideas off your partner, working out what needs to be done, and working out a schedule. This is good because being organized will help you feel less stressed, which can affect your sex drive, but it’s better to do this early in the evening. Talk about your plans during dinner or when you’re relaxing on the couch because the only thing you want to be talking about in the bedroom is how much you want your partner.
2) Checking your messages
Checking your texts and emails before bed is a bad habit that most people have because they’re used to being constantly in touch with other people. They need to see what’s happened since they last checked their messages and if they don’t they’ll be up all night wondering what they’re missing out on. This is a problem because it’s distracting and usually you’ll have to waste even more time replying to the messages and dealing with any issues that have come up. You should set a specific time for checking messages and stick to it so all of your attention will be on your partner in the bedroom.
3) Going straight to bed
Going straight to bed without even a hint of romance will keep your sex life non-existent and you’ll get into the routine of ignoring your partner. You don’t have to have sex every night but you should make an effort to show a bit of attraction to your partner every day so they know you’re still in love with them. When you’re getting ready for bed tell your wife how sexy she looks in her new nightie or give her a kiss before going to sleep. You want to keep the bond between the two of you strong and you do that with small, loving gestures because you’ll feel closer and sex will happen more naturally and often. You can also do things like snuggle so that you’re in close contact and that can lead to more if you take things further by kissing and touching.
4) Getting distracted by children
Children are a huge distraction at bedtime because they want to stay up late like the grown ups do or they’re hyper and want to play some more. They’ll stay in bed for a bit but will come to your room to get your attention and by the time you’ve finally gotten them to sleep you’ll be too tired to think about your sex life. You need to set firm bedtimes with your children and make it clear that they need to stay in bed until they fall asleep unless it’s a real emergency. This is healthy for them because they need a proper sleep schedule and it will make your bedtime easier because there’s less drama. When you go to bed relaxed you’ll be more likely to want to have sex because you’re in a good mood and you’ll want to spend some time with your partner coming up with freaky things to do in bed.
5) Continuing a conversation
A lot of people continue a conversation they had earlier when they’re in bed because you’re with your partner, it’s quiet and you can concentrate on what’s being said. These conversations are usually about work, an event coming up or a disagreement you had earlier and these topics aren’t sexy. They’re boring and will put you in a tired mood because it’s not something you really care about and is the kind of conversation you have every day. You need to make sure you finish conversations when you start them and make it a rule that once you’re in the bedroom you leave outside issues out of it. The bedroom should be a quiet place for you to sleep and enjoy time with your partner.
6) Watching tv or reading
Watching tv or reading are bad bedtime habits because they’re distracting and cause eye train as well as mental fatigue. You’ll feel more worn out and that will slow down your sex drive. These are also bad habits because they take your attention away from your partner and you’ll get caught up in what you’re watching. If you want to watch tv or read a book to help unwind before bed do so a half hour or an hour in another part of the house, like the living room. By keeping these types of activities out of the bedroom you’ll be looking for something to occupy you when you are in bed and your partner will be the one you’ll want to be distracted by.
7) Having a nighttime snack
People have nighttime snacks because it’s been awhile since dinner and they’re starting to feel hungry again but it’s a bad idea to do this close to your bedtime. Eating makes you feel full and since it’s late at night it’ll make you feel more tired than you normally would be. You need to stop having nighttime snacks and avoid feeling hungry by eating dinner later or having a bigger portion or drinking a glass of water because being thirsty sometimes makes you feel hungry. This will help you go to bed feeling comfortable and it’ll be easier for you to feel sexual desire because you’re not feeling weighed down after eating.
8) Complaining about the bad day you had
If you’ve had a bad day then complaining about it will help you feel better because you need to talk about what happened and get it off your chest. Bedtime seems like a good time to do this because your partner is there to listen and support you and there’s nothing to distract you but it’s going to put both of you in a bad mood. When you’re in bed together you should avoid talking about anything negative and use the time to do something that will make you feel good, like sex. You need to either talk about your bad day earlier and deal with it outside the bedroom or tell yourself that it’s not important and forget about it because having a healthy ex life with your partner is more important since it affects your relationship.
Currently She works as dating writer for different adult blogs, and She coaches men and women on sex and relationship.
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