Sex after 40 has a negative view for most people because they think they’re too old to enjoy sex, they get used to being in a routine and they feel self-conscious about their aging body. This leads to a decrease in sexual desire and their sex life suffers until it gets to the point where they don’t have one. This is the kind of life you can avoid if you know how to have a healthy sex life after 40.
1) Be willing to explore your sexuality
People tend to be adventurous when they’re young and just starting to have a sex life but once they’ve tried a few things and know what they like they get stuck in a rut. This makes their sexual desire wane and by the time they’re 40 their sex life is a boring routine that they don’t know how to change. To stop this from happening you need to be willing to explore your sexuality and start living out your sexual fantasies. It can be scary trying something new but you’ll see how much there is to try and you’ll find your sex life becoming exciting again.
2) Improve your testosterone levels
High testosterone levels are connected to having a high sex drive and this applies to men and women. Testosterone levels slowly drop in men after age 30 and in women after they go through menopause but there are ways to improve your testosterone levels so that you can get some of your sexual desire back. You can go to the doctor and be prescribed medication, eat foods that are high in protein, get more vitamin D by spending time outside or taking a vitamin D pill and start exercising more.
3) Don’t forget about romance
Once you reach a certain age you forget about romance because you’ve had your heart broken a few times and if you’re in a long term relationship you forget about things like that. Bringing romance back into your relationship can help you have a healthy sex life because there’s a stronger feeling of love and intimacy between the two of you. These feelings will help increase your sexual desire so you have to make them a regular part of your life. You can do this by surprising your partner with flowers or a candle lit dinner, giving them a massage after a long day at work or telling them how much you love them.
4) Be honest about what you want
It’s embarrassing to talk about sex and wanting sex after 40 isn’t something a lot of people want others to know so they keep it to themselves. This leads to you hiding how you really feel and you’re going to be unsatisfied with your sex life. You have to be honest about what you want and stop worrying about being too old for that type of stuff or coming across as a desperate middle aged person. A healthy sex life is something everyone should have regardless of age so talk to your partner and let them know what you want as well as your fears so they understand you better.
5) Work on your physical appearance
Sex after 40 may be something you struggle with because you’re self-conscious about the changes in your body and you don’t feel as confident as you did when you were in your 20’s or 30’s. This will impact your sex life because you don’t want to get naked in front of your partner so you avoid having sex. You need to work on your appearance by eating healthier, exercising more and taking care of yourself by using moisturizer and getting a haircut. These changes will make you feel better about yourself and the confidence boost will stir up your sexual desire.
6) Go for quality, not quantity
Sex after 40 can be boring and quick because you stick to doing what you like and that will leave you feeling unsatisfied so you have sex more often. A lot of sex won’t leave you feeling satisfied though because you need quality, not quantity to get that feeling. You have to practice changing how you have sex and go for longer sessions that make you feel more emotionally connected to your partner. Take your time, remember foreplay, make eye contact and kiss to add quality to your sex life.
7) Eat more foods that are aphrodisiacs
Eating more foods that are known aphrodisiacs can help you have a healthy sex life by increasing your arousal levels. Foods that are known aphrodisiacs are chocolate, avocados, oysters, salmon, watermelon and pomegranates. You can eat these as a regular part of your diet or you can eat them during a romantic dinner so that they affect you before having sex.
8) Increase the amount of intimacy
Intimacy is an important part of having a healthy sex life because it brings you closer to your partner and makes you feel loved. There should be intimacy between the two of you in and out of the bedroom. You can bring intimacy back into your relationship by spending more quality time together, having meaningful conversations, engaging in foreplay and act loving during sex. This will increase your sexual desire and make you look forward to having sex after 40.
9) Deal with problems outside of the bedroom
Ignoring problems will cause tension between you and your partner and the stress will decrease your sexual desire. You need to deal with issues as soon as they start so they don’t weight on your mind and affect your relationship. By keeping things happy and peaceful out of the bedroom you’re going to be able to relax and enjoy time with your partner in the bedroom.
10) Buy some sex toys
You can make having sex after 40 a fun thing by becoming more adventurous and trying new things, like different positions or buying sex toys. There are lots of different sex toys you can buy and they’re easy and affordable to find on online sex stores. If you’re into kink or BDSM you could buy handcuffs, whips or bondage rope and if you’re into softer play you can get blindfolds, vibrators, anal plugs or sexy costumes. Think about your naughtiest fantasies then buy a couple of sex toys to help you make them a reality and liven up your sex life.
Currently She works as dating writer for different adult blogs, and She coaches men and women on sex and relationship.
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