A first date is all about getting to know each other and deciding if there’s enough of a spark to go out again. It should be fun and enjoyable but saying the wrong thing can ruin everything in an instant. There are obvious topics to avoid, like sex talk or your ex-girlfriend, but you may not realize that mentioning your family or hobbies can also give the wrong impression. Knowing what subjects to avoid beforehand can help you be prepared for the first date and make it be a success.
1) How long it’s been since your last date
Some people think that it’s a good idea to mention that it’s been awhile since their last date because it makes them seem selective instead of promiscuous but it doesn’t always come across that way. If you say it’s been awhile since you went out with anyone and you’ve been looking forward to tonight they may wonder why you’ve been single for so long. They’re going to be looking for signs that you’re not boyfriend material and every little wrong thing you do will seem a lot worse to them.
2) Why you broke up with your ex-girlfriend
You may be tempted to tell your date why your last relationship ended to make you seem like a good guy who’s had his heartbroken but you should never talk about your ex-girlfriend, especially on the first date. They know things didn’t work out with her so you don’t need to say it and they’ll think you miss them. If they bring up their last breakup you shouldn’t use it as an opportunity to talk about yours, instead you should listen then quickly change the subject otherwise you could end up talking about the past all night long.
3) How bad your ex-girlfriend was
If your ex-girlfriend comes up on the first date you should be polite and neutral about them. When you badmouth your ex-girlfriend by saying how they used you, that you were a great boyfriend to them and they regret breaking up with you, you’re showing your date what a terrible person you are. Those things you say may be true but that doesn’t matter because your date doesn’t know your ex-girlfriend and they’re going to think you’re bitter and rude for talking about them behind their back.
4) Anything to do with money
The only time you should talk about money on a first date is when you offer to pay for her meal because it’s a very personal issue. Don’t brag about your good paying job, tell them about an expensive item you just bought or an exotic vacation you went on. It’s going to make them feel awkward or think you’re superficial and they’re not going to want to see you again. Save the money talk for when the relationship is serious and you need to discuss it.
5) Your family
Family is probably important to you and is a big part of your life but talking about them on the first date can cause problems. If you say that you think she’d love your family or get along with them then she’s going to think you’re moving too fast. She barely knows you and isn’t even thinking about your family at this point. Another reason you shouldn’t talk about family is because you don’t know if she gets along with hers or has a painful past and this can bring up a lot of difficult emotions for her which will ruin your first date.
6) Your thoughts on politics
Politics is always a heated subject to talk about because it’s something that people are passionate about and will make quick decisions about others based on their political beliefs. If you bring up politics on the first date you’re adding pressure to the moment and are at risk of offending the other person. They may not agree with you and this will either start a fight or cause the date to end. You should only talk about politics when you know them very well and can talk to them about it in a calm way.
7) How you feel about marriage
If you say you’re looking to meet a great woman to settle down with will make her think you’re taking things too seriously and too quickly. You don’t know if she wants to get married or not and if you say you never want to get married and want to keep things casual she may decide not to date you because she does want to get married in the future.
8) What annoys you
On a first date you’re going to share a lot of information about yourself because you’re trying to get to know each other but you should try to keep things on the light side. Talking about something that annoys you will bring a negative tone to the conversation and women don’t want to date a guy that has an angry personality or who has little patience. If something bothers you, you should laugh it off and act like it’s not a big deal.
9) Typical male interests
There are some interests a
nd hobbies that are typically male, like sports and cars, and although some women like these things too it’s best to assume that your date isn’t. You can briefly mention them if they’re something you’re interested in but don’t go in depth because she’s going to get bored. You should talk about more general topics that both of you are interested in, like movies, tv shows or local attractions you like to visit.
10) Sex talk
Sex talk isn’t appropriate on a first date because this is when you’re getting to know each other and seeing if there’s a sexual spark between the two of you. Flirting is good on a first date but you should let her take the lead with how quickly the sex talk moves so you don’t come across as desperate or sex obsessed. She knows you’re attracted to her since you asked her out so mild flirting is enough to show that you still want her.
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Tagged with: ex girlfriend • first date • sex talk