In order for a relationship to be successful long-term you and you partner need to be on the same page, be willing to compromise, make an effort to build a happy life together and have realistic expectations for one another. This is a healthy way to be and gives you a reasonable idea of how your life with them will be. When you have unrealistic expectations you’re always going to see your partner’s flaws and over time you’re going to forget why you fell in love with them. This is going to lead to you breaking up with them and you’ll have ruined a good relationship because of your mindset.
1) You’ll always be madly in love
At the beginning of the relationship you’re madly in love and think that you’re always going to feel this way. This is one of those unrealistic expectations that’s going to have a big impact on your relationship because when enthusiastic love settles down you’re going to think something is wrong. You won’t know why your partner isn’t in love with you anymore and you’re going to pressure them when you try to fix things even though everything is actually fine between the two of you. This pressure is going to push your partner away from you and then there really will be a problem.
2) Things won’t change between the two of you
Relationships ebb and flow over time and you’ll go through periods where you won’t spend as much time together or each of you will be working towards different life goals. These events will change things between the two of you and you have to be willing to compromise and be understanding when it happens. If you have unrealistic expectations and expect things to always be the same then you won’t be able to do that and your partner isn’t going to feel loved and supported by you.
3) That you’ll never have a major fight
When you first start dating you’re more willing to overlook things because you don’t want to fight and you get into a routine of having small disagreements but won’t let it turn into a major issue. This makes things seem good between you and even though it’s in a superficial way it feels good and you want things to stay that way. You’re going to expect to be able to treat all issues this way and never have a major fight but this can lead to resentment because your thoughts and feelings aren’t being expressed.
4) Your partner won’t grow as a person
People change as they get older and have more life experiences so the person you first fell in love with won’t be the same person they are now and neither are you. These changes happen slowly so you won’t notice them at first and when you do finally realize that they’ve grown as a person you’re going to feel resentment towards them if you have unrealistic expectations. To avoid this from happening you need to understand that people change, it’s a natural part of life and you need to embrace that.
5) You will always come first
This is an unrealistic expectation because your partner will have other people they care about, like family and friends, and sometimes they need to put them first instead of you. It doesn’t mean they love you less, it means that they want to be there for someone else and if you stop them from doing that then they’re going to have resentment due to your overbearing need for attention.
6) You’re the only one your partner confides in
One of the most common unrealistic expectations in a relationship is that your partner will turn to you with all of their problems and you’re the only one they confide in. They may not always do this because they might not be comfortable talking to you about certain things, they don’t want to be a burden to you or they’re scared that you won’t be understanding. When they feel this way they’ll confide in someone else, like a best friend and you’re going to get upset over them not coming to you.
7) You’ll never feel resentment
There will be moments in your relationship where you feel resentment towards your partner and if you have expectations of always feeling happiness around them then you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. They’re going to do things that upset you without doing it on purpose, like not including you in a decision or spending time with friends instead of you, and this is going to be more hurtful if you’re not expecting it. You need to remember that your partner isn’t perfect and has an area of life that doesn’t involve you.
8) You won’t sexually desire anyone else
Lifelong monogamy is one of the biggest expectations for a relationship because society frowns on open relationships and cheating but it’s not natural for people to only feel sexual desire for one person. There’s a difference between actively going after someone else and having a crush on them and if you don’t understand that difference then it’s going to cause problems when one of you has eyes for someone else.
9) Both of you want the same things in life
Expectations of you and your partner wanting the same things in life is going to lead to big problems when you find out that’s not true. Your life goals and dreams may be very different and it can lead to you breaking up if you realize this all of a sudden. this is why you can’t have expectations for how things will be and you need to talk to your partner about what you want or how you’d like your life to be with them so both of you are on the same page.
10) Your partner will be everything you want
You can’t have expectations for your partner that involve things that are out of their control, like them being everything you want in a life partner. No one is perfect and your partner is going to let you down again and again if that’s what you expect from them. There will be times they say or do the wrong things, won’t know how to support you and will have flaws that annoy you and you can’t ask them to change just because you want them to live up to your expectations.
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