When you’re not interested in a second date but the other person is then you need to be careful about how you deal with this situation. You don’t want to come across as rude or creepy so it’s best to take your time and find the right approach. Being gentle and telling a white lie or the truth can help the other person accept that a relationship with you isn’t going to happen and that it’s not a big deal, sometimes things just don’t work out. It’s a good idea to have a couple of excuses planned in advance so when it’s time to tell them you don’t want a second date you can smoothly handle it.
1) Wait a day or two to turn them down
It can be hurtful if you tell them straight away that you don’t want a second date with them and they’re going to wonder why you had such a strong negative reaction to them. Even if you know they’re not relationship material you can still tell them that you’re busy and not sure when you can see them again. After waiting a day or two you can tell them that you’ve had time to think about it and you don’t think a second date will work out.
2) Say you didn’t feel any sparks
It’s normal to feel sparks when you want to have a relationship with someone so it’s understandable when you say that you didn’t feel them. When they ask you out for a second date be apologetic and say that you had a great time but you don’t think there’s a connection. It’s best to do this right away because you don’t want to lead them on or send mixed signals. If they suggest giving them a second chance you can politely tell them you don’t think it’ll make a difference and hope they find someone who’s a better match for them.
3) Bring up incompatibility
When you tell someone you don’t want a second date they’re going to want to know why and if it’s because of something they did. You can tell them that you don’t think it’ll work out between the two of you because you’re not compatible. You can bring up different examples like living too far away to see each other often or not having many interests in common. The point you need to make is that you’re two very different people and you don’t think that’s good for a relationship.
4) Say you can only see friendship
If you like the person but don’t want to be in a relationship for them then you can consider friendship or casual dates as an alternative. When they bring up having a second date you can tell them that you a like them a lot but aren’t attracted to them in that way but that you’d like to still spend time with them. You can suggest just having casual dates or see if you work better as friends then let them decide what they’d like to do.
5) Still be in love with your ex
Only a creep puts the blame on the other person when they turn down a second date so make sure you either give a vague excuse so not one gets the blame or make it be your fault. When they’re insistent about seeing you again you can pretend to still be in love with your ex and that you don’t think now is a good time for you to be starting a new relationship.
6) Blame your interest on casual dates
You can get out of a second date by letting them know you want two different kinds of relationships. Tell them it feels like they want a serious relationship but you’re interested in having casual dates and that you don’t want to see them again because it’s going to complicate things. They might get upset about you wasting their time on the first date but you can soften the blow by saying that you took a chance on them because you like them but think it’s best if things don’t go further.
7) Tell the truth in person
Telling the truth when the other person asks you out on a second date may sound harsh but you can do it in a nice way by not blaming them and not getting grumpy about wasting your time. Be upfront and tell them you aren’t sexually attracted to them or that you didn’t enjoy the first date as much as you thought you would. This lets them know exactly why there won’t be a second date and they’re going to appreciate your honesty which is better than you ghosting them. You need to tell them in person because doing this over text makes you seem insincere and cold-hearted which will undo the positive impact of telling the truth.
8) Don’t confuse them about what’s going on
It’s awkward telling someone you don’t want to date them so it’s easier to just delay things and tell them that you’re not sure when you’re free again. This is mean and confusing because they’re expecting a second date eventually and will be surprised when they don’t hear from you again. You need to tell them you’re not going to see each other again fairly soon after they ask you out so that you don’t play with their emotions.
9) Be positive when turning down a second date
Having the right attitude when telling someone you don’t want a relationship is going to make the conversation go a lot smoother. You need to be positive so that your good mood rubs off on them and there’s no fighting. Be apologetic but friendly as you tell them why you don’t want a second date, tell them you’ve thought about it and this is the right decision and that you hope they find someone who’s better for them.
0) Let them know you don’t see a future with them
If neither of you are specifically looking for casual dates then it’s normal to think about what it would be like to be together for the long-term and how the other person would fit into your life. When they ask why you don’t want to see them again you can say that you don’t see a future with them, that you want to get married and you don’t feel a connection with them or that you don’t know if you want to have children but they made a comment on their dating profile about wanting them. Gently say that there’s no point to a second date if it’s not going to lead to the kind of future that you’re hoping for.