7 Correct ways to tell her she needs work in the bedroom (Without being a dick)

June 21, 2020 Posted in Adult Dating Guide by No Comments

How to tell if she is good in bedWhen you’re not happy with your sex life you can ignore it and hope things get better or tell your partner she needs work on her skills. You may try to ignore it because it’s easier but there are ways you can tell your girlfriend she’s bad in bed without it causing problems. You need to make sure you do this in the correct way though because if she feels like you’re criticizing her it can lead to a fight or a break up. You have to be subtle about getting your point across while also keeping in mind that she may be good in bed but you’re currently incompatible and you need to work together to make your sex life better.

1) Tell her when you like what she’s doing

Your sex life is made up of two things: what you’re doing during the moment and what she’s doing. She’s not a mind reader and from past sexual encounters has an idea of what you like but she’s not going to know everything you enjoy so you need to practice good communication. When she’s doing something you like you need to be enthusiastic by moaning and telling her not to stop so she knows you want more of it. This lets her know what to do and what to avoid so she spends more time on the good stuff. She’s also going to get a confidence boost from this and she’s going to be more adventurous because she’s getting a positive reaction from you.

2) Give directions during sex

It’s normal to try and keep your sex life interesting by being touched in different ways so don’t be shy about gently giving directions to her during the moment. If you’re kissing and you want her to touch your dick then in between kisses moan and ask her to do it or if you want her to get on top tell her that it would be hot to have her ride you while you gently nudge her onto you. This lets her know right away what you want and since she’s caught up in the moment she’s more likely to do it without hesitation.

3) Talk about your sex life

She may be bad in bed because she doesn’t know what you want so she’s focusing on making it good for her while waiting for you to open up more. This is why you need to be okay with talking about your sex life because both of you need to know when something’s not right so that you can work together to fix it. This is an awkward conversation to have and you need to practice good communication so that it’s effective. Be honest with her about not being happy with your sex life and that you want to find ways to make it good. You should also tell her that you still love her because she’s going to need reassurance that you’re not tired of her. Once the conversation has gotten started you can come up with ways she can do things differently and things you can try together so that your sex life is more compatible.

4) Find out what she wants to do

Your sex life may be suffering because she’s tired of it being a one-sided experience because it feels like its all about what you want and you don’t make an effort to do the things she enjoys. She’s getting bored with you and is only keeping your sex life going because she doesn’t want to end the relationship. This is when good communication can get things back on track because you can find out what she wants to do during sex and start doing that more often. This helps ensure that both of you are getting your needs met and this makes her more enthusiastic about sleeping with you.

5) Watch porn together

Couple watching porn
If she has limited sexual experience or isn’t very creative then she probably finds it difficult to keep your sex life interesting because she’s not sure what to do or how to do it properly. You can watch porn together because this will help in multiple ways as long as it’s the type of porn both of you can enjoy. If you want her to be kinkier don’t start with a BDSM video, instead watch a video of a loving couple doing light kink, such as soft spanking. While you’re watching the video you can point out the sex acts that interest you the most and tell her how sexy it would be if the two of you tried that. This eases her into the idea of what you want from her and it gives her a visual of activities she can try during sex.

6) Ask her what you can do differently

You may think she’s bad in bed because she’s just reacting to your sexual performance and doesn’t know that you’re unhappy with the way things are. It’s going to upset her if you tell her upfront that she’s not as good as she thinks she is but you can soften the issue by taking a more neutral stance and putting the focus on you. Tell her that you’ve been thinking about your sex life and was wondering if there’s anything you can do differently to make it better. This starts a conversation about sex and when you mention making changes it’s going to make her want to know if there’s anything she can do differently. This is when you can gently tell her what’s bad about her performance and suggest some new techniques she can try.

7) Physically show her what you want

Telling your girlfriend she’s bad in bed can be a bad idea but you can subtly use verbal and physical cues to show her a better way of doing something. During sex you can take her hand and put it where you want it or ask her to move in a slightly different way while guiding her so she knows exactly what you want her to do. If she’s in the middle of a sex act you can groan and tell her it feels amazing but use your hand to make a change to her position without her realizing it too much. These small changes are ones she’ll remember and get used to after you do it a couple of times and you can help her be better in bed without confronting her.

Katy Benett

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