At the beginning of a relationship you can’t keep your hands off each other because everything is excited and you want to explore sexually as much as you can. You think it’ll always be like this between the two of you but there’s a chance of you ending up in a sexless marriage like lots of other couples who used to be full of passion. It could be because your relationship was based on limerence, a strong infatuation that you feel at the beginning of a relationship but fades as you get to know one another, or it could be because you got used to being together and have fallen into a routine. You don’t want to be in a sexless marriage so find out what the signs are and make an effort to change things if you do any of them.
1) You check your phone before bed
Checking your phone before going to bed is a common thing and most people do it because they want to make sure they haven’t missed anything. It can be a good habit because some texts need to be replied to but you should set aside a specific time to do this and it should be an hour or two before you go to bed. This way you can deal with any issues and won’t go to bed feeling stressed or anxious because those emotions will cause you to be in a sexless marriage. You’ll be so focused on other things that you won’t be in the mood for sex and if your partner tries to initiate it you’ll get annoyed which puts even more of a distance between the two of you.
2) You always go to bed at different times
People are busy during the day so it’s natural to have sex before bed because you’re with your partner, you’re relaxed since your body is getting ready to go to sleep and you’re in a comfortable place that is associated with having sex. Going to bed when your partner isn’t will put you in a sexless marriage because you’re not spending time together and are physically apart so there’s no opportunity to have sex. You’ll get used to being alone and when you do go to bed at the same time it won’t occur to you that it’s a good time to do something fun like have sex.
3) There’s no more passion when you have sex
Passion is key if you want to avoid being in a sexless marriage because it keeps the spark alive between the two of you. Sex without passion is boring and is just a way for you to relieve sexual frustration, there’s no love or intimacy involved. You’ll stop looking forward to sex and won’t initiate it because you know it’s not going to satisfy you. Your partner will think you’re no longer attracted to them and you’ll drift into a sexless marriage. If you want to keep your sex life active then every now and again you need to do something, like try a new position, spend more time on foreplay or try sex toys, to bring passion back into the bedroom.
4) You don’t take care of yourself like you used to
When you’re experiencing limerence you’ll make an effort to take care of yourself because you want your partner to desire you as much as you desire them. Since sex is still full of passion you’re going to feel sexy and confident which will show in how you dress, act and take care of yourself. When you get settled into a relationship passion fades and you’ll get into a daily routine of life with your partner. You’ll get used to not making an effort and over time you’ll gain wear, wear pyjamas instead of sexy lingerie and won’t show as much confidence because everything is just okay. Your relationship will turn into a sexless marriage as a result of this and you’ll need to make changes if you want to fix it.
5) There’s no more affection
A relationship needs more than limerence, it needs long lasting affection that isn’t sexual in natural. Being affectionate with your partner by snuggling together, resting your hand on their arm, genuinely listening and being supportive when they have a problem or a soft touch on the back when you walk will make the bond between you stronger. You’ll feel close and loved and you need to feel that way if you don’t want to be in a sexless marriage. You need to make an effort to show affection and keep things good between the two of you so you’ll want to have intimate moments like having sex otherwise it’ll feel like you’re having sex with a stranger or an ex.
6) Both of you are bad at initiating sex
Sex can be awkward or embarrassing for some people and if you and your partner are both that way then there’s a good chance you’ll end up in sexless marriage once the passion and excitement of being in a new relationship fades. When you first start dating or use adult dating sites like adultfriendfinder you’ll be more likely to take risks, like initiating sex, because your emotions are in overdrive and when that phase passes your normal tendencies will start to surface. Feeling shy or nervous will become normal because that’s what you’re used to feeling and it doesn’t matter that you’re with someone you know and love. If both of you are bad at initiating sex then it’s just not going to happen unless one of you is willing to ignore how they feel and go after what they want.
7) You’re no longer emotionally close
People, especially women, need to feel emotionally close with their partner in order to feel a sexual desire. Without it sex feels empty and meaning less which leads to them losing interest in it. If the emotional bond between you and your partner is weak then it’s hard to bring up the feelings you need to do something loving and intimate. This will cause you to start on the path towards a sexless marriage and the lack of sex will push the two of you further apart. You need to become emotionally close again by being affectionate with each other and making a connection through meaningful conversations and romantic dates.
Currently She works as dating writer for different adult blogs, and She coaches men and women on sex and relationship.
Latest posts by Katy Benett (see all)
- 7 Mistakes couples make in their first polyamorous or open relationship - April 18, 2019
- 10 Erotic roleplay ideas that you have to try at least once - April 10, 2019
- The 7 real reasons why men cheat on their partners - April 3, 2019