When you meet a girl you’re interested in you need to find the right balance of being a great guy that grabs her attention and not coming on too strong. If you make the wrong first impression she’s not going to stick around long enough for you to go out on a date with her and you’re going to be stuck in the single life and having to wait for someone else to coming along. When you’re flirting you need to make all the right moves and make her want you instead of you chasing after her.
1) You do all of the flirting
You’re definitely coming on too strong if you’re doing all of the flirting and she’s trying to act like she’s flattered by your non-stop attention. You’re making her feel uncomfortable and she’s thinking of a way to get away from you so when you find yourself smiling and making flirty comments every other sentence you need to stop what you’re doing. You can stop coming on too strong by saying something flirty then giving her a chance to decide if she likes you and let her flirt back. This way it becomes a fun game between the two of you and the sensuality heats up until both of you are dying to spend some alone time together.
2) Constantly texting her
You’re going to get her attention but in a bad way by coming on too strong and constantly texting her. It doesn’t matter if it’s something short like “Hi, have a great day.” or something more sexy because it’s going to annoy her after a while. You also should never complain or ask why she doesn’t reply to your messages because this makes you seem possessive. She knows you’re attracted to her because of your first attempt at flirting so space out your texting and give her time to respond. Let her set the pace for communication so you can find out what she’s comfortable with and base your behavior on hers.
3) Using dirty talk
When you first try to get her attention you need to be funny and sweet, a nice guy that she can feel safe around. By making things sexual straight away you’re coming on too strong and making her think you only want her for sex which is going to make her think you’re desperate and crass. When you’re flirting you can compliment her by saying how pretty she is but wait for her to take things to the next level because a sexually charged conversation is something you should only have with someone you know well enough to gauge their feelings about it.
4) Boasting about what a great boyfriend you are
You may think it’s a good idea to highlight your attributes and come across as the perfect boyfriend but this is the wrong approach to take. This behavior shows arrogance and she’s going to see it as you coming on too strong instead of you being subtle and wooing her into falling for you. Instead of bragging about how you know how to treat women right and that she’s lucky to have met you, you need to be humble and when you’re flirting make a joke or two about how much fun it would be to go out on a date. This makes her think about what it would be like to be a couple instead of thinking about how big your ego is.
5) Assuming there’s going to be a first date
You should never be flirting with a girl while acting like there’s definitely going to be a first date because she’s going to notice your assumption and be turned off by it. You’re coming on too strong when you act like you know you’re winning her over and you’re just killing time until you start arranging a date so slow down and keep your confidence in check. Don’t mention going out with her until the conversation starts to wind down and you know it’s time to make your move before she thinks you’re not that interested in her.
6) Dominating the conversation
Dominating the conversation is a big sign of coming on too strong because it shows aggression which isn’t an attractive quality in a boyfriend. The right way to start a conversation with a girl is to introduce yourself and ask her a generic question to see how she responds. If she’s interested you can keep talking while waiting for the right moment to start flirting with her. It’s important that you’re equals in this conversation so give her a chance to talk and genuinely listen to what she has to say. This lets you get to know her better and it shows her that you know how to be a gentleman.
7) Buying her affection
If you’re in a social setting with a girl you’re picking up you’re going to buy her a drink which is fine and usually expected but you should be careful how you do this. You’re going to come on too strong if you’re seeing her regularly but you’re still stuck in the friend zone so you start trying to buy her affection. One drink at a bar is fine but always paying for her drinks and food or buying her flowers before the first date isn’t okay. You’re either going to make her think you see her as shallow or you’re going to attract the attention of gold diggers who see this and want some of your gifts too. To avoid coming on too strong you should only buy her one drink then wait until the first date before offering to pay for her meal.
8) Saying how bad you want her
If you’re flirting and texting her on a regular basis then she knows how bad you want her so you don’t need to be obvious about it. Telling her how bad you want her or that you can’t wait to go out with her is coming on too strong and puts pressure on her. If she’s still undecided about dating you then this could be what makes her final decision and she’s not going to choose you. Keep your feelings to yourself until you’ve gone out a couple of times and you know that the relationship has potential then you can tell her that you like spending time with her.
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