Being in an open relationship isn’t for everyone because it requires a lot of trust, honesty and good communication. Not only do you need to be ready to try this new lifestyle but your partner does too if you don’t want to ruin the relationship. To be more confident about your decision to explore no longer practicing monogamy you can look for certain signs to see if this could be right for you. Take your time to think about it carefully and wait until you’re sure of this because if you do it when you’re truly ready to take this step it can begin a brand new, exciting chapter in your life.
1) You struggle with monogamy
An open relationship may be something to consider trying if you and your partner are the type of people who have a hard time with commitment and find it repressive. Instead of forcing yourselves to practice monogamy you can think about being in a certain type of committed relationship where you still value your relationship and date seriously but will have relationships with other people. This can give you a sense of freedom and take the strain off of your relationship which can make it better in the long run. If you’re okay with both of you seeing other people then it’s time to talk to your partner about it.
2) An open relationship excites you
The amount of excitement you feel about being in an open relationship can tell you if it’s right for you or if it’s just a short lived fantasy that you don’t take seriously. Think about how it excites you because if it’s just something that turns you on and you lose interest once you’ve satisfied your sexual needs then it’s not for you. If it’s something that you’re excited about trying, you’re interested enough to look into it and you can’t stop thinking about it then it might be time for you to take things further. This needs to be a lifestyle change that you care about and are willing to make an effort at making it work for you.
3) You believe an open relationship is acceptable
You should only consider being in an open relationship if it’s something you’re comfortable with and think is an acceptable lifestyle. If you want to try it but are embarrassed or ashamed at not being interested in monogamy than you’re not going to enjoy the experience and fully appreciate it. You need to seriously think about being in this kind of relationship with your partner and be honest about how it makes you feel. You know it’s right for you if deep down you’re okay with it and believe that it can make your current relationship more fulfilling.
4) You think your partner feels the same way
Your partner may be dropping hints about wanting to be in an open relationship if they have a similar interest in it so don’t ignore what they say or think they’re joking about it. Listen to them because if they mention it more than once and sound serious about it then it may be their way of letting you know they want to try it but are unsure how you’ll react to it. You need to make the first move and talk to them about it because it can speed up the process of leaving monogamy behind if both of you are ready to try something new.
5) You and your partner trust each other
An open relationship needs a couple that trust each other if it’s going to be successful so think about how you feel about your partner. Do you trust them to be safe when they’re playing with others and do you trust them to respect any boundaries that the two of you agree upon? If you do and know that they feel the same way about you then you might be ready to talk to them about leaving monogamy behind. Since there’s trust between you, you don’t have to worry about them lying to you and you can be honest about what you want from an open relationship instead of hiding certain things because you don’t know how they’ll react.
6) You have a strong libido
Some people, especially me, have a strong libido and they’re with a partner who has a lower one. This can create relationship problems because you’re not getting enough sex and your partner is frustrated at not having a libido that matches yours. One way of dealing with this so it doesn’t become a problem is by having an open relationship. Talk to your partner about why you think this is right for you so they understand that it’s not about cheating, it’s about you getting your sexual needs met while still being with them. If they’re okay with that and you know it’s not going to damage your relationship then you can start looking for someone to hook up with.
7) Your partner wants to explore different lifestyles
Having a partner who is sexually adventurous may be a sign that an open relationship is right for you because you’re with them for a reason. You knew they were like that when you first started dating and part of the attraction may have been because you had an interest in alternative lifestyles too. If both of you are on the same page then you can suggest trying to open up your relationship because they’ll be understanding of your curiosity. This can also be beneficial to both of you because you can meet someone who is interested in helping you explore other aspects of your sexuality.
8) You want different things from different people
It’s unrealistic to expect your partner to be a perfect match who fulfills all of your needs but some people can’t accept this and either suppress their needs or guilt their partner into doing what they want. If you’re the type of person who understands that it can be a good thing to want different things from different people then an open relationship can be right for you. You can explain to your partner that you know they’re not interested in certain kinks so you can find someone else to do them with while still being emotionally faithful to them. Nothing will change about your relationship except you’ll seek out someone else for what your partner doesn’t want to do. This way both of you can enjoy the time you do have together.
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Tagged with: libido • monogamy • open relationship