Sex is an important part of most relationships so when your partner is selfish in bed it can cause problems and make you doubt their love for you. This isn’t a problem that will solve itself so you can’t ignore it and hope it gets better. There are ways you can fix what’s going on and stop your partner from being selfish in bed while making sex fun again, with lots of oral sex and foreplay.
1) They forget about foreplay
Foreplay is a big part of sex, especially for women, because it gets you turned on and helps your body get physically ready for sex. Your partner is definitely selfish in bed if they don’t spend a lot of time on foreplay or skip it because they don’t need it. You can let your partner know that you need more foreplay by telling them how much you love it or when they give you a little bit you can moan and beg them not to stop. They’ll be more likely to spend time on foreplay if they know you want more of it and they’ll get a rush out of driving you crazy.
2) They never reciprocate oral sex
Oral sex is one of the most common sex acts that couples do but there’s a misconception that only men really love oral sex and women aren’t that interested in it. Oral sex is something that men and women enjoy and if you’re the one who’s always giving it to your partner but they never do it for you then they’re being selfish in bed and you need to tell them that you like it too. The problem may be that they didn’t know you wanted it too and once they know that you do they’ll make an effort to do it.
3) They don’t care if you have an orgasm
A partner who is selfish in bed will only be thinking about their own orgasm and won’t care if you have one too. This is an issue you need to deal with as soon as it starts because if you don’t you’re going to feel unsatisfied and will think about finding someone who does care about your needs. This is going to be an awkward conversation because you need to be direct about wanting an orgasm and make it clear that you feel it’s an important part of sex. You have to make them understand that when they only focus on their own orgasm that they showing you that they don’t care about making sex good for you and that it’s affecting how you feel about them and your relationship.
4) They only care about when they want sex
If your partner only cares about when they want sex and gives you the brush off when you want it then they’re selfish in bed. It’s unrealistic to expect both of you to always want sex at the same time and you need to compromise when you have sex so that both of you feel like you’re getting enough of it. When you’re in the mood for sex but your partner isn’t then you can try turning them on by using foreplay because sometimes people just need a bit of touching to get interested. You could also let them know you want sex by making them feel sexy and tell them that you love being with them and have been wanting them all day.
5) They don’t explore your fantasies
Everyone has sexual fantasies but you won’t get to live yours out when your partner is selfish in bed. They’ll expect you to bring their fantasies to life and have no problem telling you what they want but when you bring up your fantasies they’ll interrupt you or say that they’ll try it next time but they never do. You can stop this from happening by taking control of the situation in a sexy way. Straddle them in bed, kiss their neck and stroke their arm while moaning and telling them what you want. They won’t have a chance to be selfish in bed because they’ll get caught in the moment and you’ll finally get to see what it’s like when your fantasies become a reality.
6) They only do their favorite things in bed
Having a few favorite things to do in bed is normal and some people fall into the habit of not trying anything new because they know what they like. This leads to them accidentally being selfish in bed and you’re going to get tired of always catering to them instead of having sex be a fun experience for both of you. If you want more foreplay, to receive oral sex or anything else that you enjoy then you need to either ask them for it and make sure it becomes a regular thing or show them that you want it. When you’re in bed with them gently guide them into doing what you want by sexily asking them for it or put their hands where you want them.
7) They don’t care about what happens after sex
What happens after sex is just as important as during it because that’s when you feel a rush of emotions then a come down as the rush fades. A partner who’s selfish in bed only cares about the sex act and loses interest as soon as it’s over which can make you feel unloved or forgotten. It’s natural to want to snuggle with your partner after sex or to gently touch each other as you calm down and doing these things can help you feel closer as a couple. If your sexpartner is selfish in bed to do this then you need to take the initiative. Show them how good it can feel to keep a physical or emotional connection after such an intimate moment and do it every time after you have sex so it becomes a regular part of it.
8) They don’t emotionally connect with you
Feeling emotionally connected to your partner during sex is important because it makes the moment feel stronger and more personal. When your partner is selfish in bed they won’t do things like make eye contact, tell you how sexy or beautiful you are or that they love you. You need to tell them that you like those things and they play a part in turning you on so they understand that this is something they need to start doing.
Currently She works as dating writer for different adult blogs, and She coaches men and women on sex and relationship.
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