The first month of dating is exciting and it’s easy to get carried away but there are some things you should never do because it can ruin the relationship. You want to use the first month of dating to get to know each other and figure out if there’s potential for a serious relationship so doing things like discussing future plans, trying to be their dream date or spending too much time together can put too much pressure on both of you. If you want to get through this time smoothly and start your relationship the right way then you need to learn what you should never do.
1) Spend all your time with them
The first month of dating is when you want to spend all your time together because you’re excited and want to know everything about them. This can backfire though and make them feel like you’re smothering them or are too overbearing which isn’t an attractive quality. You need to make sure that you text them or go out often enough that they don’t lose interest and you’re making a connection with them but without going overboard. Try to limit your contact with them to occasional texts to let them know you’re thinking of them, once or twice a week dates and replying to any texts they send you. This way you can make a connection with them but still give them enough space to feel like they can relax around you.
2) Try to make everything perfect
You’ll want everything to go perfectly during the first month of dating because you’ve met someone new and your feelings for them are running wild. It’s unrealistic to expect perfection and you’ll be pressuring yourself to live up to an ideal that you’ll never reach which can affect your relationship because you’ll be micromanaging everything. You need to learn to go with the flow and understand that things will work out the way they’re meant to otherwise you’ll be putting too much of your attention on future plans and ignoring the important things like getting to know your new girlfriend and making a connection with her.
3) Go on vacation together
Going on vacation can be a short and spontaneous thing, like spending the night in a tourist town that’s an hour or two from where you live. It might not seem like a big deal but it can ruin your relationship because you’re making plans together and living together in a hotel room for a day. You need to save this for future plans and wait until your relationship is steady so that it’ll be easier to work together because you’ll know each other better and have an idea of what to expect. During the first month of dating you should only be going out for a few hours at a time so you don’t get on each others nerves or fight while trying to deal with personality clashes that arise when spending time with someone new.
4) Introduce them to your family
Introducing your new girlfriend to your family is something that should be saved for future plans and doing it during the first month of dating is going to send the wrong signal. You’re telling everyone that this is a serious relationship and that there’s a level of commitment that your girlfriend probably doesn’t feel yet. This type of meeting should only happen if the two of you are discussing living together or having a wedding. Instead of this you could introduce her to a couple of friends as long as you do it in a casual way, like going out for dinner as a group. There’s no reason for her to be meeting your family in the first month of dating and you don’t want to scare her off so it’s best to just mention them if she asks then leave the subject alone.
You shouldn’t mention being in a relationship or adding them as a friend on social sites because it’s establishing the relationship which will make your new girlfriend feel like you’re rushing into commitment and putting pressure on yourself to make things work because you don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of friends by breaking up in the near future. Keep your relationship status private until a decent amount of time has passed and you know it’s going to be long term.
6) Discuss future plans
Discussing future plans, like being monogamous, living together or mentioning a wedding, is something that should never happen in the first month of dating because it is way too early in the relationship for serious discussions such as these. The only future plans you should be making are for when your next date will be and nothing more because you don’t want to rush the relationship. You want to keep things light between the two of you and talking about serious matters will add a weight to the relationship which it doesn’t need at this point in time and could cause an abrupt break up.
7) Think you’re in a relationship
Acting or thinking like you’re in a relationship is the wrong way to deal with things because you’re not in a relationship, you’re just dating someone new. The first month of dating is for testing the waters and seeing if you’re attracted enough to this person to make an effort at having a serious relationship with them. Referring to yourself as their boyfriend, talking about intimate things, expecting monogamy and constantly wanting to know what they’re doing are actions that is going to push them away because that is not how you should be behaving at such an early stage of dating.
8) Act like their perfect man
Acting like the perfect man during the first month of dating will guarantee the relationship will be short lived because you’re giving them a false idea of who you are. When they get to know the real you they’re going to feel like you lied to them and will be wondering what else you’re hiding from them. You have to act like yourself as soon as you first meet them because that is who they want to get to know and they need to see if you’re someone they can get along with on a regular basis.
Currently She works as dating writer for different adult blogs, and She coaches men and women on sex and relationship.
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