A codependent relationship isn’t healthy to be in because it takes away your independence and you feel like you’re trapped because you rely on your partner too much. You’ll know when you’re in a codependent relationship when you get overwhelmed when making decisions by yourself, you have to do everything as a couple and you no longer have your own identity. If this is the type of relationship you’re in then you need to start making some changes before you get stuck in an unhealthy relationship that you don’t know how to get out of.
1) You feel empty when they’re not around
When you’re in a codependent relationship you’re so enmeshed with your partner that you feel empty when they’re not around because they’re such a big part of your life. You don’t like spending time apart because it doesn’t feel normal and you miss them more than you should until it gets to the point that they’re all you can think about. This is obsessive behavior and you need to learn how to relax and find ways of being happy when your partner isn’t with you because there will be times when you are alone.
2) You get overwhelmed when you make decisions by yourself
Some people get overwhelmed easily when they have to make a big decision by themselves so they get support from their partner but they don’t do this for every decision they make because they feel like they have the freedom to decide for themselves what they want. If you get overwhelmed with every decision you make and always consult your partner for their advice then you’re in a codependent relationship because you don’t feel confident in yourself. You’ve been relying on your partner too much and you’re getting overwhelmed easily because you’re used to doing what they want and now you’re second guessing yourself.
3) You take on their problems as your own
Taking on your partner’s problems as your own is a big sign that you’re in a codependent relationship because it shows that your complete emotional dependency is influenced by how they feel. When they have a problem you get just as upset as they do and you see it as your problem too even though the best way for you to help is by being supportive and giving advice only if they ask for it. If you fix their problems for them then they’ll get used to relying on you and you’ll be stressed out because you’re taking care of yourself as well as them.
4) You do everything as a couple
Doing a lot of things as a couple is natural because you’re building a life together but it’s healthy to have some time apart. When you’re in a codependent relationship you’ll do everything as a couple because you’re so involved in each other’s life that you no longer have your own identity and it doesn’t occur to you to do something by yourself. When your partner is busy you’ll stay home alone and wait for them to be finished before doing an activity together because in your mind that’s how it should be.
5) You’ll do anything to avoid breaking up
Some relationships end and people who are in healthy relationships know this and accept it despite how painful it is. People who are in a codependent relationship will do anything they can to avoid breaking up because they literally can’t imagine life without their partner. They feel overwhelmed at the thought of being alone or with someone else and their emotional dependency on their partner is so strong that they’ll stay with them even though deep down they know it’s the wrong thing to do.
6) Your emotional well-being depends on them
Having emotional dependency on your partner is a good thing as long as it’s in a balanced way and you’re capable of other emotional outlets, such as friends, families or even hobbies to relieve stress or find happiness. If you’re in a codependent relationship your entire emotional dependency is on your partner and you’re only happy if they’re happy or if they treat you well. You gauge your emotions and self-worth based on their opinion of you and the slightest hint of anger or disappoint in you from them will send you into an emotional downturn.
7) Their problems are more important than yours
Thinking that your problems are minuscule and your partner’s are more important than yours is something you’ll experience all of the time when you’re in a codependent relationship. Since your emotional dependency on them is so strong you’ll put them on a pedestal and won’t feel like you can take attention away from them by asking that your problems and needs are put first for a change. When you have a problem you’ll ignore it or deal with it on your own so you won’t feel like you’re causing trouble or upsetting them. You won’t feel like you can go to them with your problems but you’ll help them as much as you can when they’re struggling with something.
8) It’s all about what your partner wants
Putting your needs and wants aside so you can make your partner happy by fulfilling their wants is something you’ll do in a codependent relationship. It’s all about what they want and you’ll go along with all of the decisions they make while keeping your opinions to yourself. You’re too much in love with them and feel that you’re not being a good partner by disagreeing with them or wanting something else. This codependent relationship will get to the point where your partner will stop including you in discussions or decision making because they’ll expect you to obey them.
9) You pretend to always be happy
You’ll pretend to always be happy when you’re in a codependent relationship because your partner means the world to you and you want to live up to the idea they have of you so you don’t disappoint them. You think that being sad or angry will cause problems between the two of you and you’re so overwhelmed by the idea of them breaking up with you that you’d rather pretend everything is fine so you can keep the relationship going smoothly.
Currently She works as dating writer for different adult blogs, and She coaches men and women on sex and relationship.
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