When you’re moving on to a new relationship it’s a mix of heavy emotions, from fear to excitement, and you desperately want it to work out well. This desire leads to you making mistakes, especially if you haven’t dealt with your last break up. You want things to start on the right foot so there are some things you need to avoid doing and others that you have to be proactive about. When you know how to properly navigate a new relationship and what you shouldn’t do you’re giving it a chance to be successful.
1) Talk about your ex and the breakup
When you’re starting a new relationship you need to leave the past behind and forget about your ex. This is hard to do, especially when they’re going to be on your mind when you start dating again. You’re going to end up talking about your ex and once you start it’s hard to stop so your new partner is going to hear all about them and why the two of you broke up. They don’t want to know this much about your ex and it can make them think you’re not over the ex. You need to keep your ex and the breakup to yourself unless they ask you about it.
2) Spending all your time with them
You enjoy the feeling you get from being around them and want to know everything about them. It’s natural to feel this way but you need to control yourself because you don’t want to smother them or ruin your social life. You need to remind yourself that you’ll see them again soon and distract yourself with everyday activities like working, hanging out with friends and running errands. You don’t know how this new relationship will work out so having an active social life will help if it doesn’t last very long.
3) Becoming co-dependent
If you’ve been single for a while then you may be tempted to be co-dependent in your new relationship. You’re tired of the single life and want to be in love again so you give up control and do anything your new partner wants just so they’ll stay with you. You do whatever you can to make them happy and give up things you enjoy, like foods they don’t eat or spending time with friends, because being with them is more important than being true to yourself. Being co-dependent is bad for any relationship and things are going to get worse over time because they’re going to see you as a doormat. You need to maintain your independence and stop being afraid that you won’t find anyone else.
4) Compare your new relationship with the last one
It’s easy to compare your new relationship with the last one because they’re similar experiences and you don’t want to make the same mistakes. You focus on every little detail and stop paying attention to how things are different this time because you mainly see the negative aspects due to thinking about the breakup. Each relationship is different and the person you’re dating is going to think you’re not attracted to them because they can see you’re distracted. You need to stay in the moment and keep an open mind because you don’t know what this new relationship is going to be like.
5) Keeping your dating options open
Keeping your dating options open may seem like a good idea because you don’t know if this new relationship is going to last more than a couple of dates but there’s a chance they’re going to find out about it. If they see your dating profile or you accidentally mention going out with someone else then they’re going to know you’re not serious about dating them and will end things before it goes too far. You need to delete your dating profiles and be careful not to mention messaging other people you’re interested in.
6) Finding ways to make them love you
When you’re desperate to make a new relationship to work you’re going to find ways to make them love you. You’re going to buy them gifts, take them on expensive dates, be available to them all the time and agree to everything they say. This is going to make you co-dependent on them and you’re not going to realize it. They’re going to like having someone so devoted to them and are going to manipulate you into staying with them. You have to keep control of your emotions and let the relationship naturally unfold instead of forcing love so that you know the feelings you have are genuine.
7) Brag about your new relationship on social media
It’s common to update your relationship status on your social media profiles and brag about how happy and in love you are but this can put a quick end to your new relationship. If you’ve added her as a friend and she sees you talking like this she’s going to feel like you’re moving too fast. This is going to creep her out because she probably doesn’t feel the same way and is going to break up with you. You need to keep quiet about your new relationship until you know it’s going to last for more than a couple of dates and that she feels the same way you do.
8) Pretending to be someone you’re not
When you’re moving on to a new relationship you want to make a good first impression and do your best to hide all of your qualities that you don’t like and try to become the perfect partner. This is going to give the other person a false idea of who you are and you’re going to have to keep pretending you’re someone you’re not so that they don’t get upset about you deceiving them. This is stressful and you want to avoid this from happening so you need to be honest about who you are.
9) Letting fear and nerves take over
You’re going to be hoping things work out for the best and this can make your fear and nerves take over. These are going to show in how you act and you’re going to second-guess everything you do while telling yourself that you’re not good enough. This is going to make you pull away from them and not commit yourself to making the relationship work. They’re going to notice the distance between the two of you unless you tell them that you’re nervous about dating again and need some time to adjust to what’s happening.
Currently She works as dating writer for different adult blogs, and She coaches men and women on sex and relationship.
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Tagged with: co-dependent • new relationship • social life
