Having sex regularly is something that many couples see as being an important part of their relationship and when the amount of sexual encounters they’re having starts slowing down they may drift apart and consider cheating as a way of getting their needs met. If you’ve stopped having sex in your relationship and want to fix the issue before it becomes a major problem then there are several things you can do to get things back on track.
1) Romance is gone
Romance plays a big role in how often you’re getting laid because it creates intimacy and strengthens the bond between you and your partner. Romance fades the longer you’re together though and once it’s gone you don’t have as many loving moments that lead to having sex so things die down in the bedroom. To stop this from happening you can have a date night once a month or surprise your partner with something special like flowers or a candle lit dinner. This will help rekindle the love you feel towards each other and you’ll want to be intimate like you used to be.
2) Sex is always the same
At the beginning of a relationship you’re full of lust so there’s lots of spontaneous sex because you can’t get enough of each other but lust fades and sexual encounters start to become routine. You know what you like and what your partner enjoys so getting laid starts becoming the same thing every time you have it. This is boring because you’re no longer trying anything new and you eventually lose interest in having sex. To keep things exciting in the bedroom you have to be willing to try new positions or sex toys, ask for what you want, explore fantasies and have spontaneous sex.
3) You don’t have spontaneous sex
Spontaneous sex happens a lot when you first start dating but over time passion goes away and you settle into a routine as you go through life together. getting laid happens less and less and it becomes a chore because you only to do it to quickly get your needs met or to make your partner happy. You need to make an effort at having spontaneous sex again by making the first move in the bedroom and turning your partner on so they want to keep going. You could try doing it in a new place, like in the living room or outside, to get their attention because sex is more exciting when you’re doing something you’ve never done before.
4) You’re ignoring relationship problems
When you’re having relationship problems you’re not going to feel sexy and you don’t want to be around your partner so having sex doesn’t happen. These problems drive a wedge between the two of you and sexual encounters won’t happen until you’ve taken the time to work through your problems. You need to take a break from sex while you focus on finding a way to either resolve the problem or come up with a compromise that both of you can live with. Once the relationship is stable again you can make sex an active part of your life again.
5) You have bad bedtime habits
Bad bedtime habits can leave you distracted and not in the mood for sex so you don’t have an opportunity of doing that before you go to sleep. Bedtime habits that can affect your sex life include playing on your laptop, texting, watching TV and doing last minute chores. If you want to start having sex before bed again you need to put away anything that will distract you, take some time to relax then ease into sex by kissing or snuggling.
6) Sex isn’t good for one of you
If one of you doesn’t enjoy sex then they’re going to avoid getting laid and only do when they feel obligated to. You’ll know this is what they’re doing and won’t want to pressure them into having sex more often so you do without it. You can help make sex good for them by seeing a sex therapist or talking to them about how you can change things for the better and working with them to what they like. They could need more intimacy, time or foreplay before they can enjoy sex and want to have it more often.
7) One of you has a low libido
It’s common for some people to have a low libido and sometimes this is an issue that comes and goes instead of being a constant state of being. When you have a low libido you’re not interested in getting laid so you don’t initiate it and find excuses for not doing it when your partner wants it. You can try remedies like eat aphrodisiac foods, getting a prescription for testosterone, trying to relax more, eating healthier or exercising more and see if they can help bring back your sex drive.
8) Kids or work are a distraction
Kids and work are major distractions and causes of stress for most people and stress will negatively impact your desire for sexual encounters. You’re going to feel tired and stressed and you won’t have the energy for spontaneous sex so you forget about it. If the issue is with your kids then you need to talk to your partner and ask them to help you out more with the parenting of them and if the issue is with work then you need to find a way to make your current job easier to deal with or consider looking for a new job. You have to think about what solutions would work best for you and be willing to ask for help if stress is affecting your life.
9) You don’t feel sexy
A lot of people lack self-confidence and don’t feel sexy or desirable so they don’t want to be seen naked by their partner and they wonder why their partner is with them. Feeling this way isn’t going to put you in the mood for getting laid and you’re going to keep being in this negative state of mind until you actively do something about it. You can get your confidence back by working on what’s bothering you, either by dieting or exercising, spending more quality time with your partner so you feel loved by them or by seeing a therapist to help you work through your issues.
Currently She works as dating writer for different adult blogs, and She coaches men and women on sex and relationship.
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