Couples who argue a lot despite still being in love are on borrowed time before their relationship breaks down completely and leads to a painful separation if they don’t know how to fix what’s going wrong. If you’re having more and more fights with your partner but know that the love between you is still strong and genuine then helpful relationship tips can give you an idea of what needs to change. By making a few small changes to how you behave you can make your relationship more healthy and less toxic.
1) Pay attention to how you feel
How you feel changes quickly when you’re about to argue with your partner; it’s harder to breath, your hands clench up, you raise your voice and and you’re more angsty. You need to recognize this change when it happens so you can stop the argument before it starts and deal with your anger in another way. Pay attention to how you feel and when you think it’s getting to the point of you beginning to argue you need to close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths to calm down. This lets you get back into control and deal with the situation in a more healthy way.
2) Find a healthy way to resolve problems
There are many ways to resolve problems before it gets to the point where you argue so get into the habit of practicing them. You can sit down and talk things through to improve your communication skills. This helps you learn how to talk to each other in a healthy way and deal with the problem more quickly. If you’re not good at sharing your feelings face to face you can try writing down what’s bothering you and letting them read it then let them talk to you. You’re going to realize you don’t need to argue because most things can be solved in a better way.
3) Spend time alone to cool down
When you argue it’s easy for things to get out of control so when it begins to get to that point you need to regain control of the situation. Tell your partner that you can’t deal with this right now and you need some time to calm down. You need to leave the room and go somewhere quiet like the bedroom so you can let the feeling of anger simmer down. If they keep trying to argue with you then you need to ignore them and leave the house for a while by going to a quiet place like a park. You should only return home when you feel like things won’t escalate into a fight.
4) Try to see things from their point of view
By doing it before an argument you can understand why they’re upset and maybe realize that you did something wrong and give them a sincere apology. This stops the fight from happening and makes you more aware of your behavior. If you do this after you argue then it gives you a chance to go over what they said and did during the fight and understand how deeply hurt they were. Either way it gives you a better idea of what upsets them and things you can say or do differently.
5) Think before you speak or act
If you truly do still love each other then you need to think before you say or do anything when you argue because you don’t want to go too far. It’s nearly impossible to forget when your partner does something unforgiveable so you need to make sure you don’t cross this line. It’s hard to do but you need to pause every time you’re about to do something when you argue so that it gets your point across without being hurtful. If you do take things too far then you need to give them a sincere apology, promise you won’t do it again and remember that promise the next time you start to lose your temper.
6) Don’t blame them
It’s common when you argue to blame your partner for everything because you’re mad at them and it’s hard to take responsibility for your actions. This only makes things worse though and afterwards they’re not going to forget what you did. You need to take responsibility for the role you played in the problem and try to keep the blame on the right person when you argue. If you get caught up in the moment and blame everything on them then afterwards you need to sincerely apologize and take responsibility so they know you understand that it wasn’t right what you did.
7) Deal with problems right away
If you want to argue less often with your partner then you need to make sure a minor issue doesn’t escalate into a fight. It puts strain on the relationship and it will eventually affect your love for one another. When something is bothering you or you notice your partner is upset then sit down and talk to them about it. Deal with it right away means you’re less likely to argue later on and since both of you are in a calm mood it’ll be easier for the two of you to find a solution you can agree on.
8) Do more enjoyable activities together
When you’re in a healthy, happy relationship you’re going to fight less because you’re emotionally close to each other and will make an effort to keep a positive mood. You can decrease the amount you argue by doing more enjoyable activities together so it can have a good affect on the two of you. You can have a regular date night, get into the habit of taking walks in the park, going out for coffee or watching a movie both of you love. Focusing on creating nice moments together creates a better atmosphere at home and you won’t want to ruin it by arguing.
9) Give a sincere apology
A sincere apology has a big difference on how much the two of you can move past a fight so make sure you give one even if the start of the fight wasn’t your fault because you still took part in it. Feelings are going to be hurt but apologizing shows your partner that you feel bad about what happened and that you still love them. This lessens the damage caused by fighting and can lead into a meaningful conversation about what caused the fight so that it doesn’t happen again.
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