Be the lover, not the friend: 9 Tips for staying out of the friend zone

February 15, 2020 Posted in Adult Dating Guide by No Comments

Out of the friend zone Once you’re in the friend zone it’s hard to get out of it because you’ve made her see you in a certain way and it’s going to take a lot of work to progress into being FWB. You need to avoid entering the friend zone and if it accidentally happens you need to get out of there quickly and make it clear that you want to be her lover so she knows what your intentions are and you can make your move.

1) Send her a flirty text

Being upfront about your feelings stops her from getting the wrong idea and you won’t end up stuck in limbo. You can do this by sending her a flirty text saying that you can’t stop thinking about her or that you don’t mind spending the night with her if she has no other plans. This clearly tells her that your feelings are sexual and it’s up to her to decide how to respond to this.

2) Be affectionate

If you’re on the verge of ending up in the friend zone you need to ease your way back and steer things into a more sexual space between the two of you. Affection is an easy way to start making her aware of your physical presence and get sexual thoughts filling her mind so that she won’t be able to see you as just a friend. When you’re sitting next to each other make sure you’re close enough for your leg to brush against hers or when you’re talking you can put your hand on her arm and gently stroke it with your thumb. She’s going to notice this and if there’s a bit of attraction to you she’s going to want more.

3) Casually mention dating her

You want her to see you as a potential lover but the thought might not occur to her or she may want to go out with you but she doesn’t realize that your feelings for her are sexual so she’s trying to put you in the friend zone as a way of spending time with you. By casually mentioning that you’d like to go out with her sometime, that you’d love to date a girl like her or that being Friends with Benefits might be fun, you’re putting the idea into her head and giving her something to think about. If you don’t know how she’ll react you can send her a flirty text so she has privacy to process how she feels about it.

4) Flirt with other women

Flirting with other women
When you’re in the friend zone she’s going to accept the fact that she’s the only female you’re spending time with and that she’s important to you. You need to stop her from thinking this way by being more open about your dating life because this makes her see you as a sexual being instead of seeing you the way she does her other friends. When you’re hanging out together don’t be afraid to flirt with other women and talk to her about any dates you’ve been on recently so she knows that you’re not giving her all of your attention.

5) Show her you’re boyfriend material

You’re going to end up in the friend zone if she thinks you’re not boyfriend material so prove her wrong and show her that she’d be lucky to date a guy like you. Be thoughtful and kind to everyone you meet, but especially to other women because she wants to see the difference between the way you act and the way other men do. You should do things like hold doors open, pull out chairs, give compliments and remember important events like birthdays or job promotions. You can also surprise her now and again with something special like flowers or a dessert from her favorite bakery.

6) Spend less time with her

If you’re already in the friend zone you need to change how much time you’re spending with her because she’s used to you always being there. By spending less time with her she’s going to start missing you and realizing how much of a difference you make to her life. This is going to help her see that she likes being with you and she’s going to think about you more often. When you do hang out together it’s going to be more special and she’s going to want a more serious relationship with you.

7) Don’t pressure her about the friend zone

When you know you’re in the friend zone and you want to be Friends with Benefits or something more serious then you need to be careful about how you express this. Being upfront about what you want and constantly asking her to take things further or asking why she doesn’t want to date you is going to put a lot of pressure on her and not only will it ruin your friendship but also ruin your chances of being her lover. Once you’ve made your feelings clear by sending her a flirty text or being more affectionate you need to give her space so she still feels comfortable around you and can take the time she needs to decide how she feels about changing the kind of relationship she has with you.

8) Don’t act overly friendly

If your feelings for her are strong and you’re stuck in the friend zone there’s a chance you’re going to lose control of your emotions and make mistakes. You’re going to do things like trying to be her best friend, doing everything you can for her and always being there for her so she notices what a great guy you are and will magically fall in love with you. That isn’t going to happen because if she’s already getting all of this from you as a friend and she’s not going to see how dating you will be any different. By being friendly but setting clear boundaries by not going overboard you’re giving her a glimpse of how great you are while making her want more.

9) Suggest being FWB

Being upfront about how you feel will quickly take you out of the friend zone but you should only do this if you think she has similar feelings for you. When you’re hanging out together you can tell her that you like being with her and that you wouldn’t mind being FWB if she’s interested in that. Let her know she doesn’t have to decide right away then wait for her to make the first move.

Katy Benett

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