9 Tips for having sex again after a long hiatus

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having sex again Having sex after a long hiatus is a scary thing because you’re filled with doubts, nervousness and fear. This can ruin the whole night if you don’t take control of the situation and make sure that it’s as best as it can be. There are some things you can do ahead of time as well as in the moment to help you get in the right state of mind for sexual activity and make it a moment that you’ll love.

1) Remember to relax

You need to be relaxed when you’re having sex because it makes it more pleasurable so pay close attention to how you’re feeling. It’s normal to be nervous and feel a spike of fear when you’re about to be intimate but you can’t let it overwhelm you. Close your eyes, take a couple of deep breaths and tell yourself it’s just nerves flaring up, you’ve done this before without any problems and this time is no different. Keep doing this until the tension leaves you and consider doing meditation if it becomes a bigger problem. Clear your mind and push away negative thoughts so that you can be in a calm and happy state of mind.

2) Think about your favorite sexual activity

This makes you feel more confident because you know what to expect and get your needs met. Think about what your favorite sexual activity is and either do it on the spur of the moment when you’re ready to do it or tell your partner what you want to do. This doesn’t have to be the only thing you do but if you do it at the beginning of having sex, it can ease you into what’s happening and help you loosen up.

3) Get in touch with your sexuality

Getting in touch with your sexuality is something you can do before having sex so that you can get used to being a sexual being again. This is more than just masturbation where you’re focused on relieving sexual frustration, it’s about giving yourself time to enjoy touching yourself and letting your body come alive. You can make it a romantic moment for yourself by dimming the lights and running your fingers over your body. Take your time and focus on what you’re feeling so that you can heighten your arousal.

4) Practice intimacy before having sex

intimacy signs
Practicing intimacy with your partner before having sex is important because it brings you closer together in an emotional way and this increases your love and trust in them. This is going to make it easier to sleep with them and you’re going to be looking forward to taking things to the next level. You can practice intimacy by doing light sexual activity such as giving a back massage or making out. You can also do things like snuggle on the couch while watching a movie or having a meaningful conversation.

5) Do what you’re comfortable with

The first time you’re having sex after a long hiatus it’s best to do what you’re comfortable with instead of getting caught up in the moment and pushing boundaries or letting your partner take control. Make a mental list of what sexual activities you’re comfortable with and if your partner does something you don’t enjoy or suggests trying a position you’re not used to you can suggest an alternative. Doing what’s familiar to you can help you feel more confident because it’s something you’ve done many times before and it’s easier to feel like you’re with an old lover.

6) Take precautions against getting an STD

Just because you haven’t been having sex for a while, it doesn’t mean your new partner is the same way, you don’t know how many people they’ve slept with or how safe they’ve been. They may tell you this but they may be lying because they’re embarrassed or think you’ll change your mind about sleeping with them. You need to be safe so you don’t get an STD from them and you can do this by insisting on both of you getting tested and sharing the results or by using protection despite what they say about it.

7) Talk about your feelings

Keeping your feelings to yourself is going to make things worse when you’re having sex because it’s a lot to deal with. This ruins the moment by making you feel alone and stressed out, you won’t be as outgoing during sexual activity and your partner will notice something is wrong. They may blame themselves so you need to make sure this doesn’t happen. You have to talk to your partner about why it’s been so long since you’ve had sex, how nervous and scared you are and what they can do to help you. This releases some of the fear that’s built up and your partner will be more understanding, which means there’s less tension when you’re together.

8) Be realistic about having sex

Realistic expectations are important when you’re having sex after a break because it stops you from being disappointed. You’re going to be spending a lot of time imagining how it’ll be and each fantasy will be more wilder than the last. You’re going to get caught up in your fantasies and the excitement will make you think it’ll be this perfect moment when you re-ignite your sex life. This leads to disappointment when nerves cause an awkward moment or when you realize it’s not that much different than the last time you had sex. When you imagine what the sexual activity will be like you need to stay in control and be realistic about how different scenarios will play out so it’ll either meet or exceed your expectations.

9) Make yourself feel sexy

Making yourself feel sexy can help put you in the mood for having sex and this is something you can do before you go over to your partner’s place and while you’re there. Beforehand you can change your appearance by getting a haircut, trying a new makeup look, buying a new outfit or getting into shape. This boosts your confidence and you’ll like what you see in the mirror. You can also make yourself feel sexy in the bedroom by giving your partner a striptease or by telling them what you want them to do to you because this makes you feel bold and powerful.

Dating Writer at MonkeysReviews.com
She lives in Malibu (California).
Currently She works as dating writer for different adult blogs, and She coaches men and women on sex and relationship.
Katy Benett

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