Chemistry needs to be strong between you and your partner if you want to be with them long-term and in a happy, healthy way. Without it there’s an emotional distance and it can be a drain on your mental well-being and on your life. If you want to continue the relationship you need to make some changes so you can bring the spark back. It takes work and the two of you need to take it seriously but you can get to a better and more loving place together.
1) You don’t get excited or happy for them
Feeling excited or happy for your partner when something good happens to them is a sign of chemistry because you love them and what they go through is important to you. When you stop feeling this way it means you don’t care for them as much as you used to and part of you is starting to see them as a stranger. To stop this from happening you need to become more engaged in their life by talking to them or participating in celebrating their good fortune. Don’t let them enjoy the moment by themselves and think about how special it is for them. This increases the connection you have with them which creates chemistry.
2) You never have meaningful conversations
Meaningful conversations are important to a relationship because it’s how the two of you bond and understand each other better. When you no longer share your thoughts, feelings, fears, dreams and goals you move apart and become two people who are becoming acquaintances. This lack of chemistry leads to a break up so you need to make an effort to start talking to your partner. These conversations don’t have to be long, they can be a couple of minutes because it’s about quality not quantity. Share something personal with them or ask them a question and sincerely listen to what they have to say so they know you’re genuinely interested.
3) You don’t know why you’re dating them
When you think about your partner and don’t know why you’re still dating them then there’s something wrong. You shouldn’t feel that way about someone you’re supposed to love and be committed to. This shows you have no chemistry with them and things need to change. You have to take time to yourself so you can reflect on the past. Think about what first attracted you to them, how you felt on your first date and the moment you realized you loved them. These happy memories will help bring back some of your old feelings and you’ll want more of them so you’ll spend more time with your partner to try and see the goodness they bring to your life.
4) You know more about your friends
It’s normal to know more about your friends than your partner at the beginning of a relationship but that should change over time. When you’re at the point where you can answer any question about your friends because you know them so well but can’t do the same for your partner then it means you’ve stopped paying attention to them. You can fix this by spending more time with your partner and make an effort at getting to know who they really are. You can do this by having meaningful conversations, listening to what they say and paying attention to what they do.
5) You don’t understand their point of view
Understanding your partner’s point of view is important because when you can’t do this it can cause misunderstandings, fights and a sense of being unloved. These lead to the chemistry between the two of you fading and it can be hard to get it back. When you’re confused by something your partner has said or done or you’re having a fight you have to take charge. Take a break, calm down and try to see things from their point of view. This helps bring back the chemistry because you understand them better which leads to less fights and more moments when you feel like a couple.
6) There’s no affection
When you don’t cuddle, aren’t supportive or give loving gestures like small touches or kisses it makes you feel alone. You need to have affection when dating because it’s a big part of it. You can start showing small signs of affection, like touching their arm when you speak or brushing their hair off their face, and build up to doing things like that more frequently until it comes naturally.
7) You hide your thoughts and feelings
Hiding your thoughts and feelings from your partner shows a lack of trust and this has a negative impact on your relationship. They know you’re keeping things from them and this makes them feel like they can’t be honest with you either. This starts a cycle of keeping secrets and not talking to each other, which takes away the chemistry you used to feel. When something is bothering you or you want to share something with your partner you have to ignore the urge to keep it to yourself. Tell them you need to talk and be honest about what you’re going through. This opens up communication and a sense of trust starts to grow which helps to bring back the chemistry.
8) Everything feels routine
After you’ve been in a relationship for a while it’s normal to fall into a routine because you’re used to each other and you’re getting on with life. The way you deal with this is what impacts the bond you have with your partner. Healthy couples break up the routine by having date nights, showing affection and working together as a couple. When you don’t do these things you drift apart and the chemistry fades. You have to make changes to how you interact with each other so that you stay interested in being a couple.
9) You don’t miss them when they’re gone
Missing your partner when they’re gone for longer than usual, like when they visit family or need to go on a business trip, is normal so when you don’t feel this way it’s a sign that you’ve lost the chemistry. You know you’re supposed to miss them but you actually like being away from them and don’t think about calling or texting them. You should let yourself experience this feeling for a while to see if it lasts then get in touch with them. Ask about their trip or find something fun to talk about. This lets you enjoy each other’s company and you realize that you do care for them after all.
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