Casual dating is a situation that needs to be dealt with in the right way because you don’t want to get caught up in the excitement and make a mistake. It’s easy to send mixed signals or take things further than you initially intended so you need to know what you’re doing. When you take the right steps, like knowing what you want and your personal boundaries it can give you a better chance of success. You’re more in control and can stop yourself from struggling with jealousy or letting your emotions take over. Once you know a handful of helpful tips you’re ready to jump into the casual dating scene.
1) Have an idea of what you want
Having an idea of what you want is a good thing to have before you start casual dating. This stops you from messaging someone who isn’t right for you and help you stay focused when you do meet someone. It’s good to keep an open mind because you don’t want to turn down a potential partner for a minor reason but you should have an idea of the type of person you want to date and the type of relationship you want. Some people are happy with a friends with benefits situation but others may want something casual at first but have the potential to turn it into a serious relationship. You need to be clear about what you want and know what areas you’re okay with compromising in.
2) Push away jealousy
Jealousy can happen if you lose control of your emotions and start falling in love with the other person. This can make things complicated because they may not feel the same way and it isn’t something they were expecting to happen. The point of casual dating is that there’s an emotional distance and an understanding that it doesn’t turn into a serious relationship. You have
3) Keep an open mind
You need to have an open mind when you’re looking for someone to date because it may make your search harder. You don’t want to miss out on someone who may be great for you just because they’re not exactly what you want and waste time looking for perfection. When you meet someone you’re interested in for casual dating take time getting to know them to see if their flaws are minor enough to overlook. If you’re not sure then take a chance and meet them once to see how it goes before making a decision.
4) Never discuss the future
Discussing the future is something you should only do in a serious relationship so avoid this topic when you’re only looking for casual dating. If you talk about your plans for the future, like wanting marriage or children or settling down somewhere long term, you’re sending mixed signals. You need to stay in the moment and the only time you discuss the future is when you’re talking about seeing them again. They’re not an important part of your life so you need to keep them separate from your life goals because they’re not going to be a part of them.
5) Have minimal contact
You need to make sure that when you’re casual dating you stick to the expected boundaries which include keeping things on a distant level. Keeping in minimal contact with them helps prevent the two of you accidentally turning it into something more serious. Don’t send them fun but unnecessary messages like asking how their day is going or saying that you miss them. You have to only talk to them when it’s about your next hook up and don’t instantly reply to messages because it makes it seem like you’re desperate to see them again.
6) Don’t share personal information
The information you share when you’re only interested in casual dating needs to be appropriate for the situation. You can’t share too much personal information because it makes them feel closer to you which blurs the boundaries. They don’t need to know about your family, friends, the specifics of your job or the other people you’re dating. They only need to know the information that’s relevant to their relationship with you, like your sexual interests, how often they can expect to see you and what your boundaries are. When things start becoming too personal you need to remind them that this is only casual dating and it’s best they don’t get too involved in your life.
7) Date other people
You can’t only be with one person when you’re into casual dating because it’s more tempting to turn it into a serious relationship. You become dependent on them and want to see them more often because you get used to them being around. You need to remember that it’s not meant to be serious and make an effort to date other people. You should also gently remind them that you’re dating others and that you hope they’re doing the same thing because you don’t want them falling for you. Keep an open mind and find a variety of people to hook up with so you don’t become too attached to one person. This makes it more fun and you’re not going to want to settle down with just one person.
8) Be careful with what you say
What you say can make a big impact and change the tone of a relationship which is why you need to think before you speak. You have to be careful about what you say when you’re with someone only for casual dating so they don’t get the wrong idea. You need to avoid words that express love, never admit that you miss them and don’t give them a cute nickname. You can be friendly with them but never speak to them like they’re your partner because that makes them think you see them as being emotionally close to you.
9) Set boundaries
Each of you need to know what’s acceptable and what isn’t so that you understand what is going to happen. These boundaries involve how often you’d like to see each other, the amount of contact you’ll have, how serious things will be and how long you’d like the relationship to last. Both of you need to be on the same page so there’s no misunderstandings or hurt feelings later on. Pay attention and if you think boundaries are being pushed you need to be firm and tell them that you don’t want things becoming too serious.
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Tagged with: casual dating • jealousy • open mind