Dating after divorce is scary because you’re getting over a broken heart and you feel alone. You’re not used to putting yourself out there, being vulnerable and getting to know people in an intimate way. It’s also confusing because you may be unsure of where to find someone for a relationship and don’t know how to deal with emotions that you weren’t expecting to feel when dating again. You’re going to make some mistakes along the way but there are some things you can do to lessen how often this happens and make it a more enjoyable experience.
1) Give online dating a try
You can quickly meet a ton of sexy singles by joining an online dating site like adultfriendfinder and messaging a couple of different woman who interest you. This can be an easy way to start dating after divorce because you don’t have to deal with the pressure that face to face flirting causes, choose what type of relationship you want and choose how far you want to take things. You can also use the site just to see what’s available and practice your flirting skills before trying to meet women in person.
2) Don’t look for a long-term relationship
You need to take things slow when you’re dating after divorce because you’ve just gone through a traumatic experience and need time to ease into your new lifestyle otherwise it can be overwhelming. This is why you shouldn’t look for a long-term relationship right away and instead think about having hookups or a friends with benefits type of situation. It can take the pressure off of dating after divorce because you don’t have to commit yourself to another person and can spend some time just worrying about what you want and taking care of your needs.
3) Give yourself a makeover
There’s a good chance your self-confidence is low when you’re dating after divorce because you’re doing something new and are unsure about everything. You need to be confident and outgoing when you’re trying online dating because those are attractive qualities that people are looking for. You can increase your confidence by giving yourself a makeover and try a new hairstyle, buy some new clothes, start a diet or begin an exercise regime. When you feel good about yourself it shows in your behavior and giving yourself a makeover also makes you more physically attractive.
4) Make sure you’re ready to move on
If you rush into dating after divorce then it’s not going to go well because you’re dealing with the stress, anger and sadness over the break up while dealing with the excitement and fear of dating someone new. That’s a lot to cope with at the same time and you’re pushing yourself to the breaking point. You have to make sure you’re ready to move on and you can do this by taking some time working on your issues and consider going to therapy. When you know for sure you’re over your ex and being divorced isn’t a problem in your emotional and mental well-being then you’re ready to start looking for a new relationship.
5) Be open-minded about people
You need to be open-minded about the type of person you’re looking for when you’re dating after divorce because you can end up going after someone who isn’t good for you. You may have a set idea of who you want and will reject good matches because they don’t meet your specifics. Instead of having a strict list of what you want in a partner you should come up with a list of traits you’d like, such as a sense of humor or kindness, and talk to anyone who has these traits. This can help you realize that there are lots of good matches out there and you can have fun getting to know many different people.
6) Don’t forget about your social life
Spend only a certain amount of time each day on online dating sites, don’t talk too much about potential partners with your friends and don’t constantly nag your friends to hook you up. It’s exciting for you but it’s going to get annoying after a while and they’re going to feel like you’re a different person now. Dating isn’t everything and you need to keep your social life with your family and friends active. Spend time with them and find a balance between dating after divorce and enjoying the freedom of time you now have.
7) Be honest about dating after divorce
When you’re thinking of starting a new relationship you want to do it right because that lays the groundwork for it to be a happy and potentially long one. You need to be honest about your past and tell them that you’re dating after divorce instead of hiding it because you don’t want them to judge you or think there’s going to be drama with the ex. If you don’t tell them and they find out later on they’re going to wonder what else you’re hiding from them and the trust is broken. By being honest you’re letting them know more about you, builds trust and gives them a chance to ask questions to see if it’s going to affect them in any way.
8) Deal with feelings when they happen
Unexpected feeling can pop up when you’re dating after divorce and you need to deal with them when they happen instead of ignoring them and hope things magically get better. If you get frustrated with online dating then try meeting women by going to singles events, if you realize you’re not over your ex then take a break from looking for a relationship and if you’re nervous then talk to a friend about what you’re going through. Dealing with feelings right away stops it from getting worse and you’re going to be able to feel more calm and able to cope with dating and life in general.
9) Get support from divorced friends
Getting support from your friends who have experience with dating after divorce can be beneficial because they understand what you’re going through. They can listen to any problems you’re having, give you ideas on how to make it an easier experience, help you learn from their mistakes and make you feel less alone as you try to find a new relationship. This makes you feel safe and more prepared so you can relax and have fun on your dating journey.
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