You don’t want to get caught when you’re having a secret relationship because it can get you into a lot of trouble, especially if you’re married. You need to know what you and your lover need to do in order to successfully hook up without anyone knowing what’s going on because you can’t let any mistakes happen. There are some obvious things, like not meeting in public, but some you may not think of, like hiding your surprise when you meet them in public. The two of you have to agree on ground rules and make an effort to be discreet so that you can have a lot of fun together with minimal risk.
1) Agree to be discreet
They need to understand how important it is to be discreet and why you need this from them. If they don’t know why you want to hide them then eventually they’ll become more demanding of your time but if you tell them at the beginning that you’re married or don’t think your family would approve of the relationship then they realize why you need them to be discreet. Make sure they agree with the boundaries you ask of them and promise them that you’ll be careful with your actions as well.
2) Never meet in a public place
Meeting in a public place, even one that’s far from your home, is a risk you should never take when you’re in a secret relationship. You never know when you or your lover will run into an acquaintance, coworker, friend or family member because it’s impossible to know their schedules. As soon as one person catches you with your lover the whole relationship is in danger because they may confront you or tell others that they saw you. You can’t mistake being in a far away town as a safety measure. You should only meet in private, either at one of your places or a hotel, and you should never go out on dates to places where you might be seen.
3) Don’t acknowledge them in an accidental meeting
If you live in the same city as your lover then there’s a chance you’ll accidentally meet them in public at a grocery store or restaurant. This can be an awkward situation, especially if one of you is with your partner because they may notice your reaction. The best thing to do when you accidentally see your lover is to pretend you don’t know them and ignore them so that no one sees you being friendly with them. This is supposed to be a secret relationship so you need to make sure it stays that way and no one questions if there’s something going on between the two of you.
4) Don’t add them to your social media
You may be tempted to trick people into thinking you and your lover are just acquaintances because this gives you an excuse for knowing them if you get caught and you help create this illusion by adding them to your social media. You think they’ll blend in with the rest of your friends but this increases your chances of making a mistake. You may say something flirty, comment too often on their page or they may say something inappropriate. You need to keep your secret relationship to yourself and never add them to any of your social media pages.
5) Arrange to meet when your partner is busy
When you’re in a secret relationship you have to be selective about when you see each other because if you meet at the wrong time you may be caught. If you’re in a committed relationship you need to make sure you only see your lover when you know for sure they’re busy with work or spending time with friends. You don’t want them coming home early and wondering where you are or catching you in bed with your lover. This may mean not seeing them as often as you’d like but this is something you need to do.
6) Always have an excuse for what you’re doing
You need to always have an excuse ready because you don’t know when you’ll get asked about what you’re doing. Your spouse may ask why you’re never home, your friends may joke about you keeping secrets or a coworker may ask what you did last night. Come up with a couple of believable excuses, like going to the gym or grabbing a bite to eat, and never involve someone else by saying you were with a friend because this can be proven as a lie if the other person gets asked about it. Practice saying them so that they sound natural when it comes time to tell it to someone.
7) Only contact them when you’re alone
It’s exciting to be in a secret relationship and it’s difficult to control yourself because you get addicted to the feeling. You want to constantly see them and will keep in touch with them as often as possible. You have to keep control and avoid getting caught up in the moment because if you try to sneak them a quick text when you’re with other people they may not notice the first couple of times but will if you do it often enough. You should never comment on their social media and only text or talk to them when you know you’re alone and no one can hear or see you.
8) Don’t take pictures together
It’s normal for couples to take pictures together but when you’re in a secret relationship you can’t do this because it’s proof that you know each other. You want nothing linking the two of you together so keep your phone in your bag or pocket when you’re with them. Don’t let them change your mind because they want a sweet or sexy picture as a keepsake. You should also avoid taking pictures together because you don’t want to accidentally upload them to social media or send it to the wrong person.
9) Always delete evidence of the secret relationship
You have to be vigilant about deleting all evidence that can be used as proof of your secret relationship, including texts, voice mail, pictures and anything else that shows the two of you are close. You want to act like they’re a stranger so delete items as soon as you look them over. You need to do this because you don’t know if or when your partner will borrow your laptop or phone and see what has gone on between you and your lover.
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