8 Reasons you shouldn’t settle for someone who doesn’t make an effort

May 22, 2020 Posted in Adult Dating Guide by No Comments

Unhealthy relationship It’s important to have balance in a relationship and have each person making an effort at keeping things going smoothly otherwise resentment is going to build. When you’re the only one who cares about the way things are going and is trying to make the relationship work then you’re not in a healthy environment and this is going to negatively affect you. This is why you need to pay attention to the way your partner treats you and don’t settle for them just because you’re used to being with them or you’re afraid of being alone.

1) You’re not in a healthy relationship

You’re not in a healthy relationship if your partner doesn’t show you that they love you or make you feel like you’re an equal. They should occasionally show passion and make you feel special instead of acting like you should be grateful to be with them. They’re not doing things a partner should do, like take an interest in your hobbies or be supportive of your goals. This leads to more abusive behavior and you’re going to feel trapped. You don’t deserve to be treated this way but things aren’t going to change unless you resolve to not settle for this behavior and demand they change or break up with them.

2) You’re affecting your mental and emotional health

A part of you is going to know that you’ve settled for your partner because you see the difference between the way they treat you and the way your past lovers have treated you. This affects your self-confidence and eventually you’re going to be used to being treated this way because you believe it’s your fault and you’re getting what you deserve. Your mental and emotional health is going to be in a negative state and you’re going to experience anxiety and depression more often. You’re going to be an entirely different person than you were when you were single and your friends are going to start noticing and commenting on the change.

3) You’re wasting your life

You’re wasting your life when you settle for someone who doesn’t make an effort because you’re the one who’s trying to make the relationship work. You’re going to spend time thinking of ways to make your partner be more active with you and spend hours wondering why they don’t love you as much as you love them. Instead of spending time on hobbies you’re coming up with ways to re-ignite the passion and beating yourself up over not being a perfect partner. You’re so focused on them that you’re not paying attention to other important areas of your life, like maintaining friendships and your career.

4) There’s no passion

Passion creates excitement and a bond between you and your partner but this is going to be missing if they don’t make an effort. You’re the one who’s going to be showing all of the passion and doing all of the work to get them interested but it’s not going to work. They’re not making an effort because they don’t care about you and don’t feel things like passion or desire for you. This makes you feel alone even though you’re in a relationship and this is going to affect other areas of your life.

5) You’re going to crave intimacy

crave intimacy Intimacy is an important part of being in a relationship because it helps you feel loved and close to your partner. Without this there’s going to be a distance between the two of you and after a while you’re going to look elsewhere for intimacy because there’s a gnawing feeling of emptiness inside you. This leads to you spending more time with friends or having an affair because this is the only way you can get what you need. Once you realize you can get some type of intimacy with others you’re going to resent your partner for not being there for you and that’s going to cause even more problems between the two of you.

6) You’re missing out on someone better

When you settle for someone who doesn’t make an effort in your relationship you end up wasting critical dating time for as long as you’re with them and after you break up with them. The time you spend in this relationship is time you could have spent looking for or dating someone who appreciates and loves you but you’ve now missed out on this. Once you break up with the person you’re not going to be able to jump back into dating because you’re going to need time to recover from what you’ve been through and get into a more positive mental space. This is also going to make it harder for you to start dating again because you’re going to be nervous about getting into another bad relationship and it’s going to be harder for you to commit yourself to someone else.

7) It’s easier to stray

There’s only a certain amount of time that you’re going to be invested in a relationship that’s one-sided because it’s going to wear you down to the point of not caring either. You’ll tell yourself that it doesn’t matter if you make an effort or not because your partner won’t notice and you’re going to want to do something that grabs their attention and forces them to care. This leads to reckless behavior and you’re going to consider having an affair. Not only will this fulfill your need for passion and intimacy but you won’t try hard to hide it from your partner because it makes you feel powerful.

8) The relationship isn’t going to last

When you’re in a relationship where both of you make an effort and the passion is kept alive you can plan for the future and feel confident about spending a considerable amount of your life with them. Planning for the future together gives you something to look forward to and a reason to make an effort. A relationship lacking in intimacy and thoughtfulness isn’t going to last long-term because there’s no motivation to stay together and both of you are just killing time until one of you decides to end it. This happens sooner rather than later because you’re not happy and want to move on.

Katy Benett

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