Having sex and making love involve the same physical activity but have very different thoughts and emotions attached to them. A lot of people don’t think about this aspect of it though because they’re focused on the main goal of getting laid and having an orgasm. It’s important to know the difference between having sex and making love because it can have an impact on your sex life and it can be more fulfilling when you know exactly what you want and how to get it.
1) Hoping it goes well for both of you
During the entire experience you’re focused on what feels good for you and if your partner happens to enjoy it as well then that’s good but it’s not a priority to you. When you’re making love you’re hoping it goes well for both of you and you’re going to make an effort to give them passion and pleasure. You see it as a shared experience and are willing to take the time to learn and give them what they want.
2) Taking time with foreplay
Foreplay is vital to having sex because it helps you and your partner get aroused physically, emotionally and mentally but it’s often cut short because it takes time and effort. What turns on one person may not do anything for someone else so you need to learn what your partner enjoys and it takes some people longer to become aroused than it does for others. When you’re just having sex you’re going to do the bare minimum of foreplay you need to get both of you aroused so that you can get to the main event because that’s what you really want. When you’re making love you’re going to take time with foreplay because you want it to be the best it can be for your partner. You’ll take the time to learn what turns them on and won’t rush things just because you’re ready for more.
3) Letting emotions take over
There’s not a lot of emotions involved when you’re having sex because it’s more of a mechanical act and the end goal is having an orgasm. You stay focused on what you want and your physical feelings are what you’re paying attention to so you don’t become emotionally invested in what’s going on, especially if you’re with someone you’re not in love with. There’s more passion when you’re making love and it’s easy for your emotions to take over because you’re in the moment and everything is more intense. You feel a connection with your partner and your physical sensations are competing with your emotional ones.
4) Feeling in love
Since having sex is often not associated with a lot of emotions there’s a good chance you’re not going to feel in love with the person you’re sleeping with. You see them as just a way to get your needs met and your affection for them is minimal to non-existent. It’s the kind of sex you have with a hook up or a partner you’ve settled for or gotten stuck in a rut with. When you’re making love to your partner you’re going to feel love for them because there’s a strong bond between the two of you. This is an intense moment of passion that you’re sharing with them and it means something to you.
5) Taking your time
Having sex is something that can happen in minutes if you don’t make an effort and only focus on giving yourself an orgasm. You don’t care about your partner’s needs and you lose interest in them as soon as you’re done which makes it a quick experience. Your behavior when you’re making love is different because you care about the experience and want it to be good so you make an effort which takes time. You engage in foreplay for as long as you want to before moving on to sex which you do slowly because you want to gradually build up the passion. You take the time to do the acts that you enjoy but you also give time to your partner’s desires and make it a fulfilling experience for both of you.
6) It’s about intimacy and passion
The way you behave when you’re having sex is basic and is all about the act itself because you only care about the end goal. There’s no intimacy or passion because that’s not important to you and isn’t necessary for you to orgasm so you don’t waste time on it. There’s a detached feeling when you’re having sex because you’re not emotionally involved and you’re not going to use intimacy to enhance the moment. There’s a lot of intimacy and passion when you’re making love because it’s an integral part of the experience and you’re going to make an effort to include it through out the event. You’re going to give your partner light touches and gentle strokes that heighten their arousal,you’re going to make eye contact and make them feel desired, you’re going to do all the things that turn them on and you’re not going to stop until both of you are satisfied.
7) It feels special
When you’re having sex with someone it’s about the act itself and not whom you’re with so it’s going to feel routine. It’s just something you do in order to relive sexual tension and have an orgasm so it’s not going to feel special and is something you’re going to forget about as soon as it’s over. Making love is special because you have feelings for the person you’re with, it’s something you’ve put thought and effort into and you give it meaning. The intimacy and passion you feel with your partner makes an impression on you and you’re going to look back on this lovemaking session with fondness. It’s going to be so enjoyable and fulfilling to you that you’re going to want to experience it again and your sex life will be more about making love than having sex.
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