Parenthood isn’t for everyone and there’s a number of people out there who plan to never have children. There’s a variety of reasons for this; some aren’t sexually active, some enjoy their freedom and other have fertility issues. It’s still taboo, especially for a woman, to say that you don’t want children but there are some good reasons why it’s the right decision for some people.
1) They want their freedom
Children are a lot of work and you’re going to be raising them for eighteen years which is a good portion of your life. Everyone knows this and some people enjoy having the freedom to do what they want when they want without having to consider the needs of someone else. This is a big lifestyle change and they’re not interested in giving up something that makes them happy for something they’re unsure of, like parenthood.
2) They can’t afford it
It can be expensive having children especially if you want your child to have siblings, and a lot of people can’t afford it. They have student loans, mortgages and credit card debt to deal with and are living pay cheque to pay cheque. They know they’ll go deeper into debt if they have children and won’t be able to provide for them as much as they’d like to. They choose not to have children because they know it’s for the best and that they’ll have a less stressed life if they only have to deal with the debt they currently have.
3) They’ve never thought about parenthood
Some people never think about their future and prefer to live in the moment so they’ve never seriously thought about parenthood. It seems like something that isn’t going to happen for ages and after awhile they assume that it’s just not meant to be a part of their life. It isn’t a big deal to them and they won’t seriously think about having children unless something major happens to them, like falling in love with someone who does want a family or an accidental pregnancy.
4) They’re not sexually active
A lot of people choose to be celibate or are asexual and they know it takes a lot more work to get pregnant so they don’t plan on having children. They don’t want to be single parents or go through adoption agencies or sperm donors to become parents and feel like parenthood isn’t for them. They might reconsider if their sex life changes but they’re fine with the way things are and don’t see the point of going through a struggle to conceive if they’re already happy.
5) They’re infertile
Being infertile is a delicate subject, especially for women, and to avoid the painfulness or awkwardness of discussing it they tell people they don’t want children. This is a quick and easy way to change the subject and they don’t have to reveal anything too personal. This may also help them because it’s a final solution to commit to not having a family and a reason for them not to think about what their life could be like if they were able to get pregnant.
6) They don’t want to pass on genetic traits
Some health or mental issues are genetic and can be passed on to future generations so people with a history of problems may decide it’s better to not have children. They don’t want to risk having a child that will go through life struggling more than others or they think they don’t have it in them to raise a child that might have health problems. They know that this is the better option for them and won’t consider having biological children.
7) They had a bad childhood
Having a bad childhood gives you issues that you need to work on so you’re not carrying an overwhelming emotional burden. This takes time to deal with and starting a family adds more pressure, which you want to avoid. There is also the fear that you’ll make the same mistakes your parents did and you don’t want to risk putting your child through that. This reasoning usually makes someone steadfast about their feelings towards parenthood and a change of mind is unlikely.
8) They believe it’s irresponsible
For years there’s been news reports about the world’s increasing population and the inability of the Earth to sustain life with it’s current resources. This makes some people feel that it’s irresponsible to bring more children into the world and think it’s their duty to make sure they don’t add to the world’s problems. They usually take this feeling further and do what they can to reduce their environmental footprint by recycling and expressing their opinions to others may change the way the behave.
9) They’re scared of pregnancy and childbirth
Some women are scared of being pregnant and of childbirth because it’s a major change to their body and there’s a lot of physical pain. They’ve heard stories from their girlfriends about what it’s really like and think it’s something they don’t want to go through. They may also be freaked out by the idea of having an actual baby inside them and the feeling of the baby moving around is too much for them to handle. It plays on their fears and is not something they want to experience.
10) They find it too stressful
If someone’s spent time around children they might know that they’re too stressful for them to deal with on a full time basis and don’t want to have any of their own. Children are noisy, messy and need constant attention when they’re young and it’s tiring to look after them. You never know what they’re going to do next and this can cause stress, which doesn’t go away until they’re older and more independent. Some people know they can’t deal with that and they don’t want to put up with all the negative parts of having children.
11) They don’t like children
Some people just don’t like children and have no desire to have any of their own. It’s their personality type and are unlikely to change their mind. They see children as annoying or a burden and don’t have the parental instinct to look after them. They find it easier to deal with older children because they’re more mature and prefer being around children as little as possible. They are sure they will never have children and will look into options like getting a vasectomy to make sure that they stay child-free.
Currently She works as dating writer for different adult blogs, and She coaches men and women on sex and relationship.
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Tagged with: freedom • parenthood • sexually active