A first date is nerve wracking but exciting and you’ll be looking forward to it but there’s a possibility that they’ll flake on you. You want to avoid being disappointed so watch out for signs like having plans be delayed or being excused by them. These are not the type of people you want to date because you deserve to be with someone who takes things seriously.
1) They keep delaying the first date
Delaying a date one time is okay because something unexpected came up but if it happens more than that then it’s a sign this date is never going to happen. They’re doing this because they’re not as interested in you as they thought and want to find a way to cancel the date without it being their fault. They’re hoping you’ll get tired of them delaying the date and be the one who cancels it so they don’t have to deal with the awkwardness of doing it themselves. It’s better if you tell them you’re busy and can’t reschedule then move on because this date is likely to never happen.
2) They’re always giving you excuses
If you’re being excused often and never know what story they’re going to tell you next then they’re a flake who can’t commit. When they can’t commit to one date then they’re not going to be able to commit to a relationship. This behavior will continue and if you do manage to date it won’t last long. They probably have commitment issues and this has nothing to do with how attracted they are to you. Excuses are their way of dealing with it and is a defense mechanism because it’s a comforting habit that stops them from having to make decisions.
3) They never know what they’re doing
Someone who never knows what they’re doing is a flake and you can’t rely on them for anything. This is because they’re indecisive and have trouble focusing on what’s important, including making a good impression on their date. The first date won’t happen because they can’t pick a time to meet and stick to it since they probably have other plans that they’ve forgotten about. They act like this either because they’re lazy or they’re the type of person who loves the excitement that comes from not knowing what’s going to happen next. They think it makes them seem fun and interesting but don’t realize how irresponsible it makes them appear.
4) They’re slow to text back
They’re not looking forward to the date and see it as a way to kill time instead of meeting someone they might fall in love with. They’re slow to reply because they don’t know what to say to you and they know it will be even worse during the date so they’ll probably cancel at the last minute. They do this because they don’t like dealing with things so they put it off until they can’t wait any longer.
5) They flake on other things
When you’re going on a date with someone you know you should already have a good idea of what their personality is like. Think about how they deal with other things in their life, like work or social activities, because this will tell you how likely they are to cancel the date. If they’re always cancelling or delaying other plans then they’ll treat you with the same indifference and think they can get away with it because they know you. They won’t make more of an effort and you’ll have an instinct that the date won’t happen. They treat you this way because of the familiarity they have with you and expect you’ll be fine with whatever they do because of your past friendship. They don’t see you as special so they think it’s no big deal to let you down.
6) They keep changing plans
There might be a slight change of plans with a first date, such as a closer restaurant or a different time because it’s more convenient for them but it’s a bad sign if they’re constantly changing plans. This could be changing the type of place you’re meeting to different things like the movies or a restaurant or changing when you’ll be meeting since a date during the week is usually shorter since people have work the next day. This means they’re not sure what to do with you and keep running through different scenarios because they think the date won’t go well and are trying to find a way to make it better. They’re not trying to annoy you or be mean, they want to go out with you but aren’t sure how to make sure you both have a great time. They’ll feel overwhelmed and stressed which leads to them cancelling the date because it’s too much for them.
7) You have to make the plans
You know the date isn’t going to happen if you’re the one who’s making all of the plans because the other person can’t be bothered to make an effort. See how involved they are in the idea of dating you by asking where they’d like to go or when is a good time to meet and see if they have anything to contribute. If they leave it all up to you then they don’t really care about the date and want you to do all of the work so they can see if you’re capable of looking after them. They don’t want a relationship, they want to be taken care of and are setting up dates to see if you can give them what they want. They’ll cancel the date if they sense that you’re not going to put up with any nonsense from them and expect the relationship to be an equal partnership.
8) They don’t seem excited
A lack of enthusiasm for your date means they don’t really want to date you and are thinking of things they’d rather do. You’ll get the feeling that they’re going with the flow and that it doesn’t matter to them if the date happens or not. When you ask for their opinion on when and where to meet they’ll answer with vague responses like “Sure, whatever is good for you.” or “Yeah, I don’t mind.” because they already know the date isn’t happening but they haven’t told you yet. They know you’re not the right type of person for them and can’t be bothered to fake excitement because they don’t see the point in lying to you. They know you’ll figure it out eventually and that it won’t be a surprise when they do cancel.
Currently She works as dating writer for different adult blogs, and She coaches men and women on sex and relationship.
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Tagged with: excused • first date • flake