When you’re shy it’s hard to talk women but it is possible for you to learn how to build confidence. This involves practice and getting yourself used to talking to women and the best place to do this is somewhere that you’re used to going, like the gym, because the familiar setting will put you at ease.
1) “Wow, you just put everyone to shame.”
A good way to learn how to build confidence for yourself and for the woman you’re interested in is by going right up to her and giving her a compliment. This will get you used to approaching women and will make her feel great about herself as well make her think you’re a nice guy. Telling her that she just put everyone to shame by working out like a pro can lead to a longer conversation because you can follow up by asking where she gets all that energy from.
2) “Maybe we can work out together.”
If you suffer from a lack of confidence it might help you to ask women out by choosing something other than a date. You can do this by telling her that you’d like to work out together because she seems motivated enough to be a good workout partner. This will give you time to get to know her and you can wait until you’re ready to take things further by asking her out on a date. Taking things slow can help you with your lack of confidence because you’ll be moving at a pace that is right for you.
3) “What’s the best machine to use?”
Asking her which machine is best to use can help break the ice because it’ a common question to ask at the gym so she won’t be bothered by you hitting on her and women like men who are willing to ask them for advice instead of acting like they know everything. By asking her a question you’re also putting her in charge of the conversation because she’ll want to tell you why it’s the best machine and this will take the pressure off you to keep the conversation going. Having her take control will help if you’re shy because you don’t need to be as outgoing like you would if you asked a question that put the focus on you.
4) “Hey, are you new here?”
This question can be done in a flirty way and it doesn’t matter what her answer is because there’s a reply for whatever she says. Ask her if she’s new to the gym and if she says “No.” you can reply “Wow, I can’t believe I never noticed you before.” which makes it clear you’re interested in her and if she says “Yes.” you can offer to show her around and show her that you’re a friendly, helpful guy.
5) “How’s your workout going?”
When you notice a woman at the gym and she’s taking a moment to catch her breath you can ask her how her workout’s going. This will get the conversation started and you’ll know she likes you too if she delays going back to her workout to talk to you. You can talk about what exercises you’re doing and what area you’re focusing on today then ask her a related conversation topic like which machine or workout does she recommend.
6) “How do you relax after your workout?”
Finding out her after workout routine is a good conversation starter, especially when you’re learning how to build confidence, because it puts the attention on her and she’ll be the one doing most of the talking. Listen to what she says and follow her lead because she might realize you’re interested in her and will tell you where she likes to go which could be a good date idea. You could also offer to go for a coffee after your workout and have a mini date with her.
7) “What’s the best music to work out too?”
Many people like to listen to music when they’re at the gym so ask her what she listens to and tell her that you’re looking for something new to listen to. You can share what kind of music you like and get to know each other this way. If she’s a music lover you can get her contact info by offering to send her some links to your favorite songs or you can ask her out to a local music event, like a festival or band night at a bar.
8) “Can you recommend some energy boosting drinks or snacks?”
Energy boosting drinks and snacks are popular with people who often go to the gym so if you’re shy and don’t know what to say you can ask her about them. This can be helpful for you because it isn’t too personal and if you get too nervous you can quickly end the conversation. If you do end the conversation you can approach her later on to ask her something else and this will be easier for you because you’ve already talked to her before.
9) “What’s your favorite exercise?”
You can share exercise tips and workout together after you’ve asked her what her favorite exercise with. Once she tells you, you can say what yours is or that you have similar workout goals if she finds it hard to pick one and likes to do a mix to keep thing fun. This will also give you an idea of her personality type, whether she’s a hardcore gym bunny or if she’s a casual gym goer, which is important to know because if she’s a casual gym goer you know you need to make your move right away because it might be awhile before you see her there again.
10) “Do you take any fitness classes here?”
Most gyms offer classes so see if she does any of them. You can ask her which ones she’d recommend or remember which ones she goes to and sign up for it so you can casually bump into her again. Taking the same fitness class as her can help with being shy because you have an excuse for being there and make it seem like a coincidence instead of being upfront about liking her so much that you had to see her again. This can also lead to you doing workouts together outside of the classes and if you hit it off it can lead to dating.
Currently She works as dating writer for different adult blogs, and She coaches men and women on sex and relationship.
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Tagged with: how to build confidence • lack of confidence • shy