Feeling nervous around women, especially if there’s physical attraction, is something that every guy feels. It’s normal but there are a few ways to lessen and even get rid of that feeling so you can feel more confident and at ease when trying to succeed at a hook up. Once you’ve gotten used to conquering your nervousness you’ll be less likely to experience and it will no longer be an obstacle in your dating life.
1) Don’t focus on physical attraction
Focusing on physical attraction will make your nervousness worse because you’ll be fantasizing about having a hook up with her and wondering whether or not she’ll be interested in you. You’ll also be hoping you’re good looking enough for her and by the time you start talking to her you’re going to be worrying if she’s out of your league. It’s better to focus on what her personality is like and if she seems like someone you’ll get along with because that’s more of a neutral area and you’re more likely to keep calm.
2) Build your self-confidence
Feeling nervous around women might be an indicator of you suffering from poor self-confidence. You think you’re not good enough to be around them and this shows in your actions and feelings. To stop this from happening you need to take some time to work on yourself and build your confidence up so you can feel comfortable around them. You can fix things like your appearance by starting an exercise regime or practice your speaking skills by starting conversations more often with women as well as men so you can get used to doing it.
3) Get more experience
A lack of experience can lead to less nervousness because you’ll know what works and what doesn’t. This takes a lot of time because you will be rejected but that’s okay since that’s an issue you need to know how to deal with. Go out with women even if you only feel a mild attraction to them because you want to build your confidence by gaining experience. Ignore your nervousness when it flares up because the more experience you get the more you’ll get feel confident because it’s a situation you’ve been in before and you know what to do.
4) Accept that rejections happen
Feeling nervous may come from the fear of rejection and you’ll never know which women will be interested in you and which ones won’t be so this is an issue that will always come up. The only way to deal with this is to accept that being rejected will happen occasionally and that it’s unrealistic to expect all women to like you. Instead of worrying that you’ll be rejected again, tell yourself that it’s not about you and that it’s no different when you don’t feel physical attraction to someone.
5) See it as only a hook up
If you’re the type of person who tried to plan everything in advance and have ideas on how things are supposed to go then you’re going to get nervous about things going right. If you see it as only a hook up you won’t get caught up in trying to make it into a prefect relationship which takes the pressure off you. Take things step by step, first with getting to know each other, then having a hook up then seeing if you want to take things further.
6) Spend more time around women
You might be nervous because you don’t spend a lot of time with women and feel more comfortable with your male friends. Force yourself to spend more time with women by spending time with female co-workers at work gatherings, going to bars and clubs and learning how to have platonic friendships with them. This will show you that you don’t need to be nervous around women and they’re not that different from you.
7) Find women that you relate to
When you don’t know someone well and you have nothing in common with them your nervousness will be used because you’re unsure of what to say or do to make them interested in you or how to make an emotional connection with them. Finding women that have something in common with you can be an ice breaker and you’ll feel like you know them better because they seem more familiar to you. Talk to them to find out what shared interests you have or try to hook up women from places where you indulge in your hobby, like cooking classes or the gym.
8) Pretend you have confidence
One way to overcome a difficult emotion is to act like you feel the opposite as a way to put yourself in a different frame of mind. When you start to feel nervous you should push that emotion aside and pretend you have confidence. Tell yourself that everything is fine and that you’re a great catch. By filling yourself with positive thoughts and feelings you won’t have any space for negative ones.
9) Don’t overthink things
Overthinking things can cause problems because you’re worrying about too many things at once. You’ll be worrying about making a good first impression, using a good pick up line, listening to the doubting voices in your mind and trying to have everything go smoothly which will be overwhelming. Before you approach a woman you can get control of your nervousness by taking a deep breath, clearing your mind and only thinking about how you’re going to break the ice.
10) Treat her like a friend
You’re not going to feel nervous when talking to your friends because you know them and feel comfortable around them so use that same attitude when you’re meeting someone new. Before you go up to an attractive women think about talking to one of your friends to put you at ease then casually go up to her. Introduce yourself then try to start a conversation to get things going but don’t be too pushy. She’ll respond better to a guy who isn’t aggressive and her positive response will give you the confidence to take things further.
11) Have some conversation topics ready
Neutral topics like the latest movies or a funny viral video are good conversation ideas because you’re unlikely to offend her. Practice your opening line and have a couple of conversation topics ready so you’re prepared to take control of the meeting. Being prepared will boost your confidence at keep your nervousness at bay.
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