Living together is a big step and it’s something you shouldn’t rush into otherwise it could ruin your relationship. You need to know that you’re ready for that kind of commitment and you need to make sure that you see it as a way of sharing your life with them instead of treating them like a roommate because you don’t want them to feel like it’s a mistake to move in together.
1) Are you ready for that level of commitment?
Living together requires more commitment than just dating because now you’re spending more time together and combining your lives. You’ll also have more responsibility if you move into a house from an apartment because there’s household repairs, a mortgage and bills that need to be paid on time, lawn care and making it feel like a home. You need to be ready to deal with tough situations because living with someone can be more difficult than seeing them regularly and you can’t just leave when things get too hard.
2) Are you living together for the right reasons?
You need to move in with each other when you’re doing it for the right reasons otherwise you’ll have problems that occur later on. You need to make sure that both of you see this is a way of taking the relationship further and that you’re ready to make a life together. You don’t want to move in if it’s a way to save money or if you feel like that’s what you’re supposed to do because you’re less likely to make an effort to make it a positive step forward since you see it as being no big deal.
3) Will your sex lives change?
You sex life might change because after living together for awhile you’re going to fall into a routine and you’ll be used to seeing each other so the passion won’t be as strong. You need to figure out a way to avoid things getting too boring in the bedroom so that when things do slow down you can change it for the better. You can pick one night a week where you make it all about each other or surprise your partner occasionally with a new position or sex toy.
4) Can you handle the lifestyle changes?
Your lifestyle will change because you now have to make more decisions as a couple. You need to split bills and chores fairly and learn to put up with any annoying habits they might have. You also can’t invite your friends over whenever you want because your partner might want some quiet time and you can’t stay up all night watching TV because that might distract them when they’re trying to sleep. You need to come up with some household rules that makes both of you happy so boundaries won’t be crossed.
5) Will your relationship change?
You need to know if this is a sign of your relationship changing and whether or not your partner is on the same page as you. You don’t want them to think this is leading to marriage or having children when you want to just be closer to them and spend more time together. Talk honestly with them about what this move means to you and listen to what they say so there isn’t any misunderstanding.
6) Will you find a new place to live?
It might be easier to find a new place to live instead of you moving in with them or them moving in with you because you might need a bigger place to accommodate their belongings. You also need to consider things like how long it takes each of you to work and how easily it will be to visit family and friends because you don’t want one of you to feel like you’re isolated from important things or to feel frustrated with a longer commute.
7) Will you treat them as a partner or as a roommate?
The relationship won’t last long if you treat them like a roommate because there’s no intimacy so you need to think of ways you can make them feel like an equal who’s sharing their life with you. Make sure their name is on the lease and let them have some choice when it comes to decorating so they feel comfortable in their new home.
8) How do you split the bills?
You need to decide before moving in on how the bills are going to be split and talk to your partner until both of you are in agreement otherwise there’s going to be problems. You need to decide if bills will be split evenly dollar-wise or if it will be percentage based because of a difference in wages. You also need to figure out who will be in charge of paying bills, if you’ll have a joint account for expenses and how major expenses like a new bed or sofa will be handled.
9) What do we keep and get rid of?
Combining two homes will show you how much stuff you have and you’ll need to figure out what to keep and what to get rid of. Keep the important things then look at the big items like beds and kitchen tables because you’ll want to keep the ones that are more suitable for your living space. You can get rid of duplicate or unnecessary items by donating them or having a yard sale and use any money you make to buy items that you need.
10) How do you split household chores?
If you move into their home you can’t expect them to do all the household chores because technically it’s their place. You need to talk and decide how you will split chores and make sure that you do them so the house stays clean and enjoyable to live in. Share the chores equally and make sure that neither of you are stuck doing all the bad chores otherwise there might be some fights about it.
11) Will we still make an effort to go on dates?
Seeing each other everyday can take away the excitement you feel for each other and you’ll spend time at home instead of going out on dates. You need to make an effort to keep going on dates because they give you a chance to focus on each other and have fun. You can avoid this by having a date night every month and do something fun or romantic together to break up the routine of everyday life.
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