A polyamorous lifestyle is still seen as taboo but more couples are getting interested in it because it’s getting more attention online and in the media. An open relationship isn’t for everyone but it might work for you if you’re in a stable relationship that needs some excitement.
1) Is an open relationship what you want?
People in an open relationship want to be in it and it’s something that everyone involved in enjoys. It satisfies them and makes them happy for a variety of reasons, from not feeling restricted by monogamy to seeing their partner have sex with someone else. This might be something you’d enjoy if you like the idea of doing this with your partner and keeping the focus on the two of you because this can add excitement to your sex life. You can test the waters by going out and seeing if you’re okay with your partner flirting with someone else then decide if you want to take things further.
2) Are both of you happy with each other?
You and you partner need to be happy with each other if you want a polyamorous relationship to work otherwise there’s going to be trust issues and resentment. If you try this because your relationship is in trouble and you see it as a way to make things fun again then it won’t last long. The main problem will still be there and now you’ll also be wondering if your partner enjoys sleeping with other people more than they enjoy being with you. Insecurity and resentment will build until you break up and being in an open relationship just delayed things because it served as a distraction.
3) Are you sexually outgoing?
You need to be sexually outgoing because an open relationship is about more than just satisfying yourself and your partner. The person or people that you play with also have needs and desires and you need to be okay with that. They might be into something you haven’t tried before or your partner might want to try something so you need to be open-minded enough and comfortable enough in that type of environment.
4) Do you have complete trust in your partner?
Trust is the most important thing because without it there’s going to be problems and it could ruin your relationship. You need to trust your partner and the person you play with to respect boundaries and to be discreet. If you follow those rules and trust each other than you can make the relationship work and have fun because you won’t be worrying about something going wrong. You need to trust that your partner won’t play behind your back because that is cheating since they’re lying to you.
5) Is an open relationship cheating?
Some people consider an open relationship to be cheating but it isn’t seen that way to people who are active in this lifestyle. Everyone involved understands what’s going on and is fine with it, they want their partner to be happy and with other people because they know it doesn’t change the love that their partner has for them. You can explore fantasies with your partner if both of you are aware of what is going on and accepts it.
6) Is it all about sex?
Sex is a big part of an open relationship but there’s more than it. It’s about exploring fantasies, finding fulfillment in a non-traditional relationship and building a stronger connection to your partner. A polyamorous relationship isn’t a hookup with a stranger, it’s an actual relationship with other people and you’re going to spend time getting to know each other. If you just want sex then this type of relationship isn’t for you.
7) How safe is it?
People think that it isn’t safe to practice this lifestyle and there’s a higher chance of getting hurt or catching an STI but it’s actually the opposite with people who take this lifestyle seriously. They know that it’s a riskier lifestyle so they take precautions and play safe so talk to them before having sex. It’s probably safer than you cheating with a stranger because you’ll actually know the person so you’ll know how seriously they take it and you’ll take precautions as well because you’ll want to protect yourself and your partner.
8) What if someone falls in love?
People worry that if they start sleeping with other people then they or their partner might fall in love with someone else. That’s a risk whether or not you’re polyamorous because you never know when you’ll feel a connection with someone and being monogamous won’t change that. If you can keep an emotional distance and see it as a sex-based relationship with a mental aspect (trust and respect) then you can have an open relationship with a smaller chance of falling in love.
9) How can it be a balanced relationship?
A two person relationship is easier balanced because you work together to make things work and when you add one or more people to it then things can become complicated. The first thing you need to do when starting an open relationship is to talk with your partner honestly about what you want and what your boundaries are. Once both of you are on the same page you have the same talk with your new partner then discuss ways to make it work so no one is left out.
10) What if only one person enjoys it?
Everyone needs to enjoy being in an open relationship so it can be a success. When one person isn’t enjoying it then you need to stop and figure out what’s wrong. They might be feeling neglected or they might not be as interested in the lifestyle as they thought they were. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to so think about what can be changed and experiment until you find what works for you. If you have open communication then this can be worked out and this type of relationship can be successful.
11) Is it a one time thing or a regular thing?
You can start by having an open relationship and having hook ups to see if you like it then consider trying a polyamorus relationship where you and your partner begin a serious sexual relationship with another person. It’s about what you’re comfortable with and you can take time to see what is right for you and your partner.
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