When you see your friend’s girlfriend on a dating app you’re going to be feeling a lot of things and won’t know what the right thing to do is. Your loyalty is to your friend but do you tell him that you saw her or do you keep it to yourself? It’s a decision you need to make carefully based on what your friendship is like because there’s more than one way to deal with this situation.
1) Don’t say anything
If you think your friend might be react badly or think you’re lying then it might be best to say nothing because you don’t want to risk ruining the friendship, especially if he does end up finding out another way and needs a friend for support. They might be going through a rough patch and he hasn’t told you so keeping quiet won’t put him in an awkward position where he has to tell you about his relationship problems. If you feel guilty about hiding it then remember that what happens in their relationship is their business and you might make things worse by interfering. If you sense there’s a problem in their relationship then wait until he comes to you for help before you tell him anything.
2) Make sure it’s a new account
It might be an old account that she used before she started dating her friend so check it out before doing anything serious. Most profiles will say when they were created or when the person last logged in so see how active she’s been on the app. You can also check her pictures to see if she looks different or has a different hairstyle because that can tell you when she joined as well. If it looks old then there’s a good chance she stopped using it when she and your friend decided to become monogamous and never bothered to delete it.
3) Figure out if she’s seriously using the dating app
She might not be seriously using the dating app to find hookups and sees it as something fun to do. She could have joined one day because she was bored and only goes on there to kill time by checking out other users. There are lots of different users on these apps and she might enjoy laughing at the ones who seem desperate or she like fantasizing about other guys she could have but knows she won’t because she’s in a relationship. Think about what she’s like because this might be what she’s doing if she seems the type who likes to waste time online.
4) See if they have an open relationship
Some couples have an open relationship and you might not be aware that your friend is in one because it’s a personal decision. You don’t want to ask your friend point blank if this is what he and his girlfriend are into so be casual about it by easing it into a conversation. Tell him that you’ve met this girl but she wants an open relationship and you were curious about it then see what he says. If he seems interested or knowledgeable about it then he probably has experience with it and knows what his girlfriend is up to.
5) Tell your friend
Before you say anything you should imagine what it would be like if it was your girlfriend and think about how you’d like your friend to tell you because this can give you an idea of what approach to take. It’s a sensitive issue so tell him in a private place where you won’t get interrupted and be gentle about it because you don’t want to hurt his feelings. Let him know that you’re only telling him because you’re friends and you didn’t want to keep this a secret from him.
6) Get proof she’s on the dating app
It’s a good idea to get proof that she’s using the dating app like AdultFriendFinder app in case your friend might think you’re joking or lying when you tell him so that you can show him evidence. You can take screenshots of her profile and of any messages that she sent to you if you messaged her to find out if it was really her. You should only show him these if he doubts you because if you show it to him first then he might feel like you’re rubbing it in his face and that will make things worse.
7) Message her
You can message her with a fake account to see if she’s serious about meeting guys and when you know that she is then decide how to deal with the situation. Pictures get stolen all the time and used by scammers so ask her a few questions that you already know the answer to, like what part of town she’s from or if she has any pets. Once you’re sure it’s her then message her and tell her that you’re interested in hooking up then see if she replies. If she does want to hook up then you need to decide if you want to tell your friend that she’s actively looking for other guys to date.
8) Get your friend to use the dating app
You can try manipulating your friend into finding out for himself what his girlfriend is doing by telling him about this great dating app liker FbookHookups App you used. Tell him that there are lots of hit women on there and that you hooked up with a few of them then suggest he try it. Send him the link to it and tell him how easy it was to join and that you’re going out on a date tonight with someone you’ve just met. You want to get him excited about it and make him want to join it because he’ll be likely to look up women who are local and will come across his girlfriend’s profile.
9) Give the girlfriend a chance to come clean
If you want to avoid causing a problem between you and your friend then you could talk to his girlfriend. Don’t act judge mental or angry because that will make her defensive. Tell her that you want to discuss something private with her and that it’s about her and your friend. Be calm as you tell her that you saw her profile and that you don’t want your friend to be hurt but that he deserves to know the truth. Say that you’d prefer it came from her and that your friend would appreciate her honesty but if she doesn’t tell him soon that you’ll have to then let her decide what to do.
Currently She works as dating writer for different adult blogs, and She coaches men and women on sex and relationship.
Latest posts by Katy Benett (see all)
- Be more confident around women: 7 Proven tips for men - December 13, 2019
- 8 Ways to get a girlfriend as a nerd - December 6, 2019
- What not to say on a first date: 10 things to avoid - November 29, 2019