Sex toys can be a lot of fun and take your relationship to a different level as you explore new ways to pleasure yourself and each other. There’s lots of sex toys you can try; if you’re into gentle sex then a vibrator might be right for you or if you’re into taboo sex then you could try anal sex toys. It doesn’t matter what you start out with, what matters is bringing it up at the right time.
You don’t want to bring up the idea of using sex toys too early into the relationship. This might make your partner feel like you’re not happy with the relationship or that you’re starting to lose interest in them. It’s better to wait and choose a time when you think you’re both mentally on the same page in regards to your feelings about the relationship. When sex starts to become less frequent and you’re beginning to feel bored with your partner then it’s time to think about spicing things up. There’s a good chance your partner feels the same way so it won’t be a surprise when you say you want to try something different in the bedroom.
An easy way to bring excitement back into the bedroom is to add something new to it like sex toys. You might want to ask your partner if they’ve used them before and what they’re interested in trying. This makes them feel like it’s a decision you’re making together. If your partner is a woman she might feel shy to talk about this with you so ease her into it. Tell them what sex toys you want to try but don’t make them feel uncomfortable by suggesting something too extreme and start by suggesting a common sex toy like a vibrator. Once the two of you have gotten comfortable with that and want to take things further you can try handcuffs, gags or anal sex toys. Using sex toys can be an awkward conversation to have and you should talk about it with your partner when you’re alone and relaxing. A good time to bring it up would be before you have sex because you’re both starting to get turned on and are more easy going at that moment. Never bring it up after sex because it will ruin the mood and make your partner think you didn’t enjoy it. This will hurt their feelings and make them feel insecure which will just lead to more problems in the bedroom.
As well as choosing the right moment you also need to choose the right tone. Phrases like “Hey have you ever thought of trying…” or “I think it would be fun to try playing with…” These are light and conversational which won’t make them feel cornered like “I want to use…” will. If they already own sex toys then let them decide if they want to use them with you. Be open-minded if the toys aren’t what you wanted, you might just end up enjoying it and it’ll give you an excuse to go shopping at the adult store with them.
Asking your partner if they’re interested in using sex toys is something that needs to be done at the right time and in the right way. If you choose to wait until you’re secure in the relationship then they’ll be more likely to try because they want to make an effort at enhancing their relationship with you. Keep casual and don’t pressure them to do anything until they’re ready. By doing this you’re increasing your chances of having a partner who’s more than willing to try something different and naughty.
She is a former adult entertainer in Las Vegas.
Currently She works as writer for different adult entertainment companies, and she also coaches men and women on sex and relationship.
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