You’re not going to be successful at dating if you lose interest over a small dealbreaker or reject good prospects on adult dating sites like FbookHookups just because they don’t meet your list of requirements. If you want to avoid being too picky then learn the signs of this behaviour and try to make positive changes so that it doesn’t affect your relationships.
1) You spend a lot of time looking for a date
When you spend most of your time browsing profiles on adult dating sites like AdultfriendFinder but don’t bother messaging anyone for dates then you might be too picky. There are literally hundreds of people to choose from so it should be fairly easy to find one that interests you. If you don’t want to go out with anyone of them then it could be because you’re being too picky. Go out with someone that interests you even if they don’t meet all of your requirements because it could turn out to be a good date.
2) Little things are a dealbreaker
You need to understand that everyone has flaws and that you have habits that others find annoying. When it comes to having a dealbreaker focus on important things like being rude or not wanting the same type of relationship as you and ignore things like not enjoying the same type of movies or not looking exactly like what you want.
3) You rarely make it to a second date
Some first dates won’t work out but some do so think about how many times you make it to a second date. If it doesn’t happen often then figure out why that is and if it has anything to do with being too picky. You can try to change this by being more open minded and overlooking things that bother you or don’t go right and focus on what you did enjoy about the date.
4) You only remember the bad parts of the date
No matter how bad the date was there must have been something good about it, whether it was the movie, the dinner or a conversation you had. Don’t use the bad parts of the date as an excuse to break up with them or as a way to be further picky about who you go out with. Learn to laugh about the bad parts and use it as an ice breaker for your second date by joking that you hope it doesn’t happen again. Over time you’ll learn to let the little things which will help relationships go smoother.
5) They must meet a list of requirements
Everyone has a list of qualities they want in a partner but if you’re picky then you have a long list and you reject anyone that doesn’t tick all the boxes which can make dating difficult. Keep your list of must have qualities short and be flexible when you find someone great but who doesn’t meet all of them. Go out with them anyways and see if that quality really is as important as you think it is because you might find that you can have a good relationship without it.
6) Your standards for them are higher than ones for yourself
Think about the standards you have for potential partner and the ones you have for yourself. They should be equal because if you expect them to meet high standard then you should make an effort as well to impress them. Don’t hold others to a standard that you aren’t willing to meet yourself because this will show partners that you have double standards and they won’t want to date a person like you.
7) Everything is always their fault
Sometimes when things go wrong it’s their fault but it won’t be their fault all of the time. If you’re constantly blaming them and never accepting responsibility for things that you’ve done then it’s because you’re finding ways to shift the blame. You’ll nitpick and choose a flaw they have and use that as the reason why it happened even though it isn’t true. You need to admit when you’ve made a mistake and realize that you have flaws too.
8) You keep an emotional distance
You’ll keep an emotional distance in relationships when you’re picky because you know that eventually you’re going to break up with them and you want to avoid being hurt. You need to stop thinking about all the ways it can go wrong and instead think about how you can make it be a success. Is there one annoying habit that’s a dealbreaker for you or is it frustration that they’re not perfect? Figure out why you always expect to break up with them and see if there’s a way to make it not an issue.
9) You try to change them
A picky person will try to change their partner and make them into their ideal person so they don’t have anything to complain about. You need to work on accepting your partner for who they are and only make an issue out of a flaw if it’s causing a problem in your relationship. If it’s a minor thing that gets on your nerves then tell them about it and ask them to stop. If they don’t then try to ignore it by leaving the room or daydreaming so that it doesn’t get on your nerves.
10) You know how things should go
Nothing will ever happen the way you expect or plan it to so and you will be the one causing problems in the relationship if you have specific ideas on how things should go. Don’t go into relationships with specific expectations because you’re going to be disappointed when you realize that you can’t control everything. You need to go with the flow and when something goes wrong don’t make a big deal about it. Pretend it didn’t happen and move on otherwise you’re going to fixate on it.
11) You’re always the one who ends the relationship
If you’re the one who always ends the relationship then it might be because you’re too picky and are breaking up over something that the other person doesn’t even notice. When you find yourself thinking about breaking up with them take some time to think about how they see the relationship. Would they see your reason for breaking up as silly or absurd? If so then you need to decide if you’re being too hasty and if you’re the problem in relationships.
Currently She works as dating writer for different adult blogs, and She coaches men and women on sex and relationship.
Latest posts by Katy Benett (see all)
- 11 Signs you are too picky in relationships and how to avoid it - November 13, 2017
- 9 Signs you are the toxic one in your relationship & how to fix it - November 6, 2017
- 11 Important questions you should ask before moving in together - October 31, 2017