What is a demisexual? This is a question a lot of people ask when they hear the term since it’s not a well known orientation. It refers to people who need to feel a strong emotional connection to someone before they experience sexual attraction. They are more interested in forming a bond and relationship quotes about true love describe how they need to feel before they’re ready to jump into bed.
1) Friendship and love always come before sex
Friendship and love must happen before you think about having sex with someone because it’s important to you to have a strong emotional connection. You need to take the time to really get to know them and feel comfortable with them before you even think of doing anything sexual with them otherwise the spark of attraction isn’t there. You find it easier to date a friend than to seek out someone to date because you have a shared history with them which makes it easier for you to feel romantic feelings. Most of the people you date will have started out as friendships that developed into more serious feelings and you’ll rarely date someone that you’ve just met.
2) Intimacy is more important than sex
What is a demisuxal is defined by the desire for a real connection to someone that overrides their desire for sex. This makes intimacy something that they enjoy more and if you’re a demisexual you’ll find yourself looking forward to intimate acts like cuddling or having meaningful conversations because you find them more fulfilling. You make an effort to keep intimacy alive in a relationship because it’s an important aspect for you. You notice the small gestures, like cuddling together while watching TV or a gentle touch on the arm, and that will make you feel closer to your partner.
3) You would never have a one night stand
Relationship quotes about true love and finding your soul mate appeal to you because that’s what you feel you need with someone and one night stands are meaningless to you. When you think about them you don’t understand why people actively seek them out on dating apps and when you use dating apps you’re the type of person who spends ages sending messages and really trying to get to know someone before agreeing to meet. When you do meet them it’s always a normal date and never a hookup and you use it as an opportunity to find out all the details of their life so you can try to find a connection with them. Some people find this intimidating and you have trouble trying to relax and make things laidback enough so that they want a second date with you.
4) You don’t understand why sex is such a big deal
When your friends brag about their sex life or are always using hookup sites to meet people you tend to stay out of the conversation because you don’t see why sex is such a big deal to them. You like sex but it isn’t something you can rush into and the idea of focusing so much on it doesn’t connect with you. These conversations make you feel uncomfortable because it’s like they know something you don’t and you know you’re different from them. Your friends might make jokes about how you never get any action or that you’re a prude because they don’t understand why you’re not as sexually outgoing as they are.
5) You don’t need sex in a relationship
If you’re a demisexual then you’re the type of person who doesn’t need sex in a relationship because you find other things more satisfying. You value building a life with someone and loving them for who they are and it doesn’t bother you if they don’t have a high sex drive. You want sex but it’s not a priority and you understand that not all relationships need an active sex life. When you start a new relationship, you take your time getting to know them and this might make them think you’re not attracted to them so you need to explain to them why you’re waiting to have sex.
6) Their personality turns you on the most
When you’re attracted to someone you’ll find it’s their personality that turns you on the most instead of their looks. You’re drawn to what makes them unique and feel the rush of excitement and arousal when you think about some part of their personality like their sense of humour, their kindness or an activity they like to do. You do notice their physical appeal but you need more than that to get in the mood or to want to date them.
7) Commitment is key to a successful relationship
A lot of relationships fall apart because over time their get bored with each other and their sex life dwindles down. They feel like sex is what’s most important and that a lack of sex means their partner is no longer interested in them. You don’t have this problem in a relationship because you think commitment is key to a successful relationship and sex has nothing to do with the way you and your partner feel about each other.
8) You have little interest in porn
A demisexual has little interest in porn because there’s no connection between what they’re seeing and what they’re supposed to be feeling. You don’t know the porn performers so there’s an emotional distance that makes it difficult for you to get aroused. You find it easier to fantasize about someone you know, like a friend you have a crush on or your partner, because you know them. Porn is something that you rarely watch and when you do watch it there needs to be something that speaks to you, like a scenario playing out that you’ve experienced or a performer who reminds you of someone you have feelings for.
9) Lust and flirting with strangers are things you don’t enjoy
You don’t feel lust towards someone you haven’t spent significant time with and flirting with a stranger is just an awkward experience that you try to avoid. You take your time and when you feel like you truly know someone you make an effort to take the relationship to a romantic level. You would never make the first move and flirt with someone unless you knew them and was sure that they felt the same way about you.
Currently She works as dating writer for different adult blogs, and She coaches men and women on sex and relationship.