Having a partner who is bad at communicating can lead to problems because you might not be on the same page with certain issues or you could end up feeling like they don’t care about how you feel. There are things you can do to improve communication in relationships, not just the one with your partner, so learn what these are and talk to your partner so they understand there’s something bothering you.
1) Talk to them face to face
Talking face to face with your partner is something you should always do when it’s a serious issue because this helps them see your facial expressions which can make them realize how important it is to you. When talking face to face you need to use positive and confident body language to help get your message across, like making eye contact and not fidgeting. They’ll make an effort to talk to you because it feels more serious and it’s harder for them to avoid the subject when you’re looking right at them.
2) Lead by example
You can lay the groundwork for a conversation about your partner’s communication skills by setting an example. They’ll notice the change in your behavior and when they ask you what’s going on you can tell them that you want to improve the way the two of you are communicating. Think about what changes you’d like them to make and do them yourself so they can see the difference. By participating instead of just having a conversation you’re being more involved which will make them more open to what you have to say because it won’t feel like you’re nagging them.
3) Don’t be judgemental
Your partner will shut down if you act too judgemental with them so when you talk to them about how they need to improve their communicating skills you need to use the right attitude. If it’s gotten to the point where you’re having a difficult conversation like this with them then you’re probably upset or annoyed and you need to keep that to yourself. The best way to approach them is to be relaxed, act like you still love them and say just want to mention it because you feel like it would make your relationship even stronger if they made a few small changes to the way they communicate. This will make them more likely to listen to what you say because they know you’re saying it for a good reason.
4) Share your feelings with them
If you tell them that they’re bad at communicating and need to change then leave it at that because you’ve told them what the problem is then they might not do anything about it. You’ve been too vague about the affect of their behavior and that’s not going to have an impact on them because they won’t see what the big deal is. You need to share your feelings with them and be honest about how their bad communication skills make you feel. They’ll see how much it’s hurting you and will want to change because they love you and don’t want to upset you.
5) Give them ideas on how to improve their communicating skills
They won’t know how to improve their communicating skills and it will seem difficult or confusing for them. Before you talk to them you should come up with a list of ideas that can help them improve their communicating skills in general and ways that the two of you can work together on how you communicate with each other. This will make it seem like an easier thing to do, especially since you’re doing it as a couple.
6) Make it a part of a relationship overhaul
Communication in relationships is important but so are other things and you can make dealing with your partner’s communication issues a positive thing by doing a relationship overhaul. See it as an opportunity to deal with all aspects of your relationship, like issues over household chores or problems with your sex life, and work on things step by step. Tell them that you want to keep making your relationship stronger and that you’re willing to make changes in key areas so that you feel closer and understand each other better. This will make your relationship better over time and it won’t make them feel like you’re singling out their bad habits.
7) Figure out what makes them uncomfortable
Your partner might be bad at communicating because something is making them uncomfortable. They might struggle with anxiety, feel insecure about their intellectual level compared to yours, or are worried about saying something stupid. You need to pay attention and listen to them and notice when you feel like they show bad communicating skills. This will tell you what they need to work on and when you talk to them you can mention these moments and ask what they thinking or feeling that made them talk that way. Once you know what the issue is then you can help them find ways of dealing with it and that can lead to them improving their communication skills.
8) Find other ways of communicating
There are other ways of communicating so if your partner is bad at verbal communication find something else that works for them. This could be written communication or physical communication. If they’re better at expressing themselves through writing then ask them to write more often, either letter or lists depending on the situation, and tell them that you find it easier to understand them that way. If that isn’t a good fit for them then try physical communication by being affectionate instead of saying how they feel or by using body language to convey how they feel. Communication in relationships can happen in lots of ways to figure out together how you can effectively deal with each other.
9) Discuss the importance of communication in relationships
Your partner may be more willing to work on the way they communicate if you discuss with them why it’s so important to you and how it can improve your relationship. You shouldn’t be negative and blame them for having bad habits. Instead, you should try to focus on the good things that can happen from communication, like openness and honesty leading to a closer bond or understanding, because that will make them feel better about the whole thing. Talking calmly about this and pointing out why it’s important can help them see how improvements can be made and why they need to make them.
Currently She works as dating writer for different adult blogs, and She coaches men and women on sex and relationship.
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Tagged with: communicating • communication in relationships • face to face