11 Reasons why women say “No.” to anal sex and how to change their mind

April 11, 2018 Posted in Adult Dating Guide by No Comments

Avoiding Anal SexAnal sex is still considered to be taboo sex and women are less likely to want it than men for a variety of reasons. They think it’ll hurt or they might be embarrassed to admit to being interested in it but you can change her mind about it as long as you show patience.

1) They’re scared to try something new

It can be scary trying something new in the bedroom so they’ll say “No.” instead of going through the awkwardness of experimenting. They feel safer sticking to what they know but you can change her mind by slowly introducing her to new sexual experiences. Instead of anal sex being the first thing you try you can ask her what she’d like to try and make it a fun experience for her. When she’s more relaxed and open-minded you can suggest anal and see if she’s ready for it.

2) They think it will hurt

It can be Painful
There’s a common idea that anal sex hurts and this will scare women into not wanting to try it. Anal sex can hurt if it’s done the wrong way so you need to reassure her that you’ll take things slow and that you know what to do to make it enjoyable for her as well. Explain that you’ll ease her into it, you’ll go at a pace that’s comfortable for her and that you’ll use lots of lube so there should be no pain.

3) They don’t feel comfortable talking to their girlfriends about it

Women talk to their girlfriends about sex but they tend to stick to safe topics like guys they’ve hooked up with or something romantic or special that their boyfriend did. They avoid talking about taboo sex because they feel uncomfortable about being that open about it so they’re not getting the support from their friends like they do with other subjects. Tell her that it’s pretty popular and some of her friends have probably done it and will tell her how much fun it is. Once she’s gotten reassurance from her friends she’ll be more willing to try it for herself.

4) Men put too much pressure on them to say “Yes.”

Always yes
Men tend to want anal sex more than women do and put pressure on their girlfriends or wives to do it with them. They use excuses like wanting to spice things up or being turned on by it instead of focusing on how good it would be for both of them. This makes women feel pressure because they think their partner is being selfish and thinking about himself and they need to do what he wants in order to make him happy. By putting the focus on it being something both of you can enjoy she’ll start thinking about her own pleasure and might open up to the idea of trying it.

5) They think they can’t get pleasure from it

Women know men like anal sex because they can get pleasure from it but they think they can only get pleasure from vaginal sex and anal sex is just a painful experience for women. You can help her understand that it can be pleasurable for her too by talking to her about and making an effort to make her feel good during the act. You can do things like stroke her clit so that she can orgasm during anal sex as well.

6) They’re embarrassed to admit they like it

They don't want to admit they like it
Women are taught to not show enthusiasm for sex because they’ll get a bad reputation so it’s difficult for them to admit they like sex and it’s even harder for them when it’s taboo sex. She might enjoy anal sex but says “No.” to preserve her image as a “good girl”. Be open about how sexy you think it is and show her that there’s nothing to be embarrassed about so that she knows you’re not going to judge her for liking it.

7) They’ve never considered doing it before

It is possible that she’s never considered doing it before so when you asked her for it she wasn’t expecting it. She might just need time to get used to the idea before changing her mind. If she’s been open-minded in the past about other sex ideas then give her time to think about it but don’t pressure her. You could watch porn together so she can get a better idea of what to expect and feel more confident about trying it.

8) They’re uncomfortable with their body

Anal sex is awkward for women because the focus is on one of their most embarrassing body parts and they’re not comfortable with you seeing so much of it. You can make her feel more confident by giving her small compliments and telling her how beautiful she looks. A good time to do this is after sex so she’s naked and knows you like who for who she is. Once she has her confidence back you can tell her how much you can’t keep your hands off her and want to have more fun in the bedroom.

9) They don’t know how to prepare themselves for anal sex

Anal sex takes a lot of preparation, especially if she hasn’t done any type of anal play before. You can suggest trying anal sex and if she’s saying “No.” because she’s not sure about it then you can guide her through it. Tell her that it’s easy to prepare herself for anal and show her a helpful guide online so she can see for herself that it’s something she’s capable of doing.

10) They had a bad experience

Use Lube
Anal sex can be painful if it isn’t done right and she might not be interested in it because she has a bad experience in the past. She’s going to think it’ll be the same way with you so you need to reassure her that you won’t hurt her. Make it clear that you want it to be a good experience for her too and ask her what you can do to make it better for her. Let her know you’ll take your time, use lube and let her decide how rough or gentle she wants it.

11) They think it’s dirty

She might change her mind if she’s educated on the subject so take some time as a couple to do some research on it. Show her that it isn’t that much dirtier than regular sex and that people just see it as dirty because it’s considered taboo sex.

Katy Benett

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