Finding the right things to say to a girl or giving the perfect girl is difficult when it comes to Valentine’s Day because there’s more pressure to make everything right. There’s a stereotype of Valentine’s Day being the most romantic day of the year and if it goes wrong you or your partner could end up feeling unloved. This adds stress to your life and relationship which could be avoided if you realized it was a toxic holiday that does more harm than good.
1) Being single can make you depressed
Valentine’s Day is all about romance and if you’re single then you’re going to be depressed because it’s a constant reminder that you’re alone. It isn’t just the day itself that causes this feeling, it’s the weeks leading up to it too because you’ll see the advertisements on TV and gift idea displays in the stores. There’s a lot of excitement about the holiday and you’re going to be left out of all of it.
2) You end up feeling unloved
You can end up feeling unloved if you’re single or if you’re in a relationship because things can go wrong. If you’re single you’ll be feeling unloved if you spend the day alone and see everyone else celebrating with their partners and will want the day to be over. If you’re in a relationship you might be feeling unloved if your partner isn’t the romantic type and either forgets about the holiday or buys you a present that you hate.
3) It’s a commercial holiday
It’s a commercial holiday that promotes the idea of everything having to be perfect and romantic otherwise your partner doesn’t truly love you. Everything feels tacky because it’s not about true love and is more about selling an image. The entire day is a marketing campaign that makes you feel like there’s something missing in your life if you don’t celebrate it. You think about all the things you don’t have in your life and you see the negative side of things instead of focusing on what you do have.
4) Stereotype gifts are given
There are stereotype gifts that people think they have to give on Valentine’s Day like red roses, chocolates and dinner at a nice restaurant. Since these gifts are so common and expected it makes them less special and when you give them to your partner they won’t be as happy. What they really want is something special that shows them you put thought into their gift but you won’t know that and will buy them what you think you’re supposed to buy.
5) Men are under pressure to impress
There is a lot of pressure on men in the week leading up to Valentine’s Day because they see the advertising for the holiday, hear their friends stressing out about making their girlfriends happy and trying to figure out what their girlfriend wants. They know it’ll be a big problem if they get it wrong and it takes an emotional and mental toll as they try to get things right. It would be better if they talked to their girlfriend about how to spend the day and ask her what she wants so they know what to do because this way they don’t have to figure things out on their own.
6) Finding things to say to a girl is difficult
Being romantic and expressing your feelings is harder for men than it is for women. You also know that you have to say cliched things like “I love you.” but find a way to do it without sounding like a cheap Valentine’s Day card. This leads to you saying the wrong thing or feeling stupid and this could ruin the night.
7) You have unrealistic expectations
The stereotype of what Valentine’s Day should be well known and gives people unrealistic expectations. You think everything’s going to be perfect and it’ll be a day you’ll always remember which leads to disappointment because reality never lives up to fantasy. You also have to try and meet the unrealistic expectations your partner has otherwise you might leave them feeling unloved and having to figure out how to make them feel better.
8) Women feel like they need to be sexier
Women feel like they need to look sexier than usual and spend time getting their hair, makeup and nails done as well as buy new lingerie. They think that if they don’t make an extra effort to look good for their boyfriend then they’re going to disappoint them and ruin the night. They stress out about not being attractive enough and criticize themselves which is bad for their self-esteem. They tell themselves they’re not pretty and wonder why their boyfriend is dating them when they can do better and this leaves them feeling bad for a long time.
9) You spend too much money
Thanks to stereotype ideas of what Valentine’s Day should be and the over commercialization of it there’s a pressure to make it a magical day from start to finish. You need to think about buying things like flowers, a gift, dinner and maybe new clothes for yourself if you have nothing nice to wear. This means spending money and you might not be able to afford everything so you pay for it with your credit card, add a bit more to your debt and gives you another reason to feel stressed.
10) It’s easy to fight
It’s easy for fights to start because it’s a day of high expectations and stress so everyone’s excited but on edge. The smallest thing becomes a big deal and soon you’re fighting. Simple things like not giving the right gift, saying the wrong thing or not being as romantic as expected can lead to the two of you fighting and this could damage your relationship. Another thing that can cause a fight is the day after Valentine’s when girls see their friends posting online about what a great day they had and they feel like you let them down because what you did wasn’t as good as their boyfriends.
11) Celebrating isn’t as meaningful
There’s an expectation of celebrating Valentine’s Day when you’re a couple because it’s traditional and romantic but it doesn’t always feel meaningful. It’s more of an obligation to live up to expectations and the rest of the year feels like a disappointment because you don’t make as much effort. Instead of focusing on just one day a year you should try to do small, meaningful things throughout the year.
Currently She works as dating writer for different adult blogs, and She coaches men and women on sex and relationship.